I Cannot | Teen Ink

I Cannot

December 15, 2013
By blmiller7 BRONZE, Westmont, Illinois
blmiller7 BRONZE, Westmont, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I cannot stop thinking about you.
You are more than just a high school boy to me,
you are mine.
You plague me with your charm.
Baseball? I only like it because of you,
well not really, but the recent Yankees attire is all for you.
Because I care that much.
When you tell me you love me I melt right there
believing that I am in a fairytale.
I can lose my glass slipper and you will find me,
thank you prince charming.
I fight with all your other friends on Snapchat to be your number one,
and if I am not, well that never happens.

I cannot bear to call you my father.
After all the atrocious things you did to our family.
I fight to try to forgive you.
The constant beating of my heart sweeps me off my feet sometimes
because it hurts too much to bear,
But it will always bring me back to the fact that I am
supposed to love you.
You are supposed to walk me down the aisle and give me away
If only you did not give me away years ago.
I cringe when the father daughter dance is announced.
All the other girls enjoy it while I resent it.
Football games I watch with them instead of you.
I avoid your phone calls because I cannot stand to hear your voice
the one I will forever hear yelling at me.

I cannot take it anymore.
You are my mom, the one that pushes me to be better,
but the pressure is just too much.
It is the pressure to be perfect,
but we all know perfection is only an illusion
to the realization that our goals are sometimes set too high,
surpassing the clouds in the sky.
I wish you would say the words, I am proud of you,
but I am convinced you never will.
I want to be that for you, but I cannot guarantee that I will not fail.
Fail at being a good daughter,
fail at loving you.

I cannot do things for myself.
My friends are my life,
without them I would not be me.
You need my help with homework?
Of course I’ll help but that means mine doesn’t get done.
You’re sick?
Chicken noodle and tissues are coming your way.
Boy problems?
I’ll call you up and listen to you cry,
although I probably want to slap you straight.
Even if you continue crying constantly, I will never give up on you.
I hide my true feelings to brighten up the day.
Like a bandaid I cover everyones wounds,
but who covers mine?



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.