on my bike i was dreaming
of being thrown off & crumpling against the ground
alive
unmoving unresponsive
asleep
like in the car, awake under your eyelids
listening to conversations prolonging
that after-nap drizzle back to consciousness - that
feeling of presence no one else knows about
reveling in that kind unawareness.

i don’t want to doze, though.
i want to collapse
i want to fall
but more than the falling, i want the
impact
the shattering crumble and the
stillness.

i don’t want to die.
i want to sleep unbroken.
and when i wake up,
i want to be alone.