The Girl Who is Heartless | Teen Ink

The Girl Who is Heartless

March 10, 2015
By foreverlove345678 BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
foreverlove345678 BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

"You're a very cold and emotionless person," that's what they say. To them I'm the girl who steals hearts and walks away. To them I move on too easily, I think I'm above everyone else, I take too long to text back and I don't get attached. To them I'm overconfident, I don't cry and I treat people like they're dispensable. Reel them in then only to push them away. To them, I am the girl who is heartless.

But once upon a time, I was the girl with the biggest heart.

I was the girl who stayed even when things got rough. Who believed in others even when everyone else doubted them. Who trusted everyone. I was the girl who would comfort you when you were crying. When everyone else left, I was the girl who stayed. I was the girl who laughed at anything and everything and who always had a smile on her face. I was the girl who put everyone's needs above her own and who never thought anything of herself. I was the girl who loved too much.

But I became the girl who is heartless.

I became the girl who could care less about the hearts she left behind. I became the girl who dismissed the people that tried to get close to her. The girl who built a steel wall around her heart. The girl who could careless about the feelings of others and who didn't trust anyone. The girl who wore a fake smile to mask her pain. I became the girl who was broken.

I wasn't always that kind of girl.

I used to be the girl who constantly gives second chances to people even when they don't deserve it. I used to be the girl who would forgive anyone if they just apologized and if they didn't then I would apologize for me being upset with them. I used to be the girl who would let her guard down easily so that anyone could come in, say a few sweet words and I would hand my heart over to them. I used to be that girl. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve at all times, putting in so much effort into every friendship and relationship or almost-relationship even though it was not reciprocated. I constantly held on to the dream, the hope that in the end all things would work out and I'd have a happily ever after.

But things don't always happen that way.

With every heartbreak and every lost friend, I began to realize what I want and what I deserve. With every piece of my heart that was taken, used, abused and thrown away, I began to build a wall around the pieces left to protect myself. I guarded myself with walls so high no one could get around them. I locked my heart and threw the key far away. I began to trust people less because I was so sure that everyone who entered my life would eventually grow distant and leave. My mother did. My father did. My bother did, and at one point my sister too. They all left and took pieces of me with them.

And so I became the girl who is heartless.

The author's comments:

For this piece i was inspired by something i saw while online. it made me reflect on my life and how people view me so i wanted to share it. 

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