I lived four years
In the blink of an eye.
White house, green lawn
Blue skies, fast cars
Surge through me, a wave of glowing warmth
Then trickle into oblivion.

Just yesterday,
You were holding my hand
And whispering in my ear
Words that still bring a smile to
Lips longing to feel.
I freeze, a vacuum ?
Two eyes shine
out at me from the photograph
In my hands
And cast me mercilessly into the past:
Into a car, front seat
And the smell of leather.
Your hands around the wheel, knuckles whitening
And the sound you make
When I grab them, and press them to my heart.
I remind you of Eden,
Of blissful ignorance
A paradise before the poison
Of your unspoken words.

We felt the way
I imagine
Your car must feel,
Speeding down a highway
So quickly the wheels barely skim the pavement.
Now I measure my time
By the seconds in between my
Heartbeats,
By breaths never taken
Caught silent in my throat.

Maybe one day we'll see each other
On the street, and laugh
Together, at the foolishness of
Old dreams. Meanwhile I'll wait
For dry veins to flood with warmth,
And dull hearts to flutter back to life,
And time to rekindle the spark
In trembling lungs.