The Tree | Teen Ink

The Tree

May 28, 2015
By Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM, Harrison, Arkansas
Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM, Harrison, Arkansas
22 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it.
But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

When he was born, he was a whole.
There was the center, and the branches,
The legs, the arms; the head connected everything.
That is, until he was walking down the shores of the sea
which he had made a tradition to walk upon.
When the waters roared upwards,
They roared closer to him than what he was used to.
That’s when he looked to notice
That the moon reflecting the water seemed larger, rounder.
It was full, and no longer did it smile down upon his face, it rippled.
And with it, came the sharks who stole his legs.
The tree was cut from the stump upwards,
and suddenly, he wasn’t planted in the Earth
He had to freedom to move;
and no longer did he walk along the beach.
Instead, he watched it from a distance.
And this time, he paid attention to the moon
which changed its mouth every single night.
As it grew into a scream,
he didn’t notice the base of his chest
dragging along the floor towards it.
Behind him was a trail of sand indented
where his body had been pulled across it.
The crabs followed his path
and took his arms once they found him at the end.
He began to doubt himself, again.
He laid with his eyes parallel the grains of sand
Which he was beginning to inhale.
For a few hours, he stared into the sky
At the moon, who bid him goodbye
To where he could hear her
First, there was anger, and then there was the sound of the waves.
First, there were tears, and then he learned to behave.
And he finally exited his head.
The ocean had  swallowed both his body and soul.
She took it away, falling in the eternal hole
There he sat alone.
And only when he died did he become one with what he was supposed to be.
Only in the humility of being without his branches, could he actually love the tree.
All we are, is the Universe’s putty.

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This article has 2 comments.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jun. 5 2015 at 10:34 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

This definitely has a lovely and eerie tone to it, and I like the slow unfolding of this tragic tale, but I agree with Amai-kun that the writing feels much more like prose than poetry. If you're going to write prose, that's great, but if you're doing poetry, try to experiment more with the rhythm and structure of the words forming your ideas. Line breaks are not the same thing as periods. :) That said, you've done an excellent job communicating tangible emotion through the story, so well done!

on Jun. 5 2015 at 1:12 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

I really like this. The story is very well thought-out, and the rhymes fit nicely together. My one critique would be to watch the flow. In some places, especially the beginning, it can sound a bit closer to prose than poetry.