She was in the 1st grade

She put an apple on the teachers desk,

And she smiled,

And so did the teacher,

And so did everyone else,

And in that moment,

All was right in the world,

That was the year when her father began drinking,

And would stagger up the stairs of the church,

And he would spit on the communion bread,

And she heard whispers,

About the bruises on her arms,

And she feared she would lose her father, 

As he shuffled out the wooden doors

She was in the 5th grade,

She saw magazines and models,

And wanted to be just like them,

And tried to lose weight,

Because she wasn't pretty enough,

And she got a D on her assignment,

And cried the whole way home,

Because she wanted to go to a good college,

And she walked home instead of riding,

And her feet hurt,

That was the year her father quit drinking for the 5th time,

And when he saw the bad grade,

He slapped her across the face,

She went to her room and cried,

As he slammed the door,

She was in the 8th grade,

She wore makeup on occasion,

Because she wanted boys to look at her,

And she made some new friends,

Who said she was a nerd,

And she listened,

And she tried less in school,

And became obsessed with herself,

That was the year she began to slit her wrists,

And would like the sting,

And had to hide it from her friends,

Who always picked on those with red arms,

And she locked herself in her room at night,

And cried for hours,

And snuck out the window,

So her father couldn't get to her,

Her friends said that getting wasted was cool,

And she listened,

As he found her room empty,

She was in the 10th grade

She shuffled in late for the bell,

And she frowned,

And the teacher frowned,

And everyone frowned,

And in that moment,

Everything was wrong with the world,

That was the year she took too many pills,

And staggered up the stairs of the church,

And fell back down again,

And everyone thought that was rather strange,

And stood at her gravestone, watching,

As he wept on his knees.