Overthinking to the point of insanity
And the world becomes a dream
“Leave the imagination to the children”
They said, right before vagueness
Overtook my fading reality
It is with shame that I carry my memories
That I bear my thoughts
And hide my raw and blunt wishes
I still can’t bring myself to think
As I pace of a doorway in my mind
Unsure whether to enter
Or leave forever with the sting of goodbye
My heart has become a forgotten memory
Still aching with its own nostalgia
I avoid mirrors and try to be someone
That I don’t hate so much all the time
But I am just a sigh on the wind
And an empty reflection in the corner
That doesn’t have feelings of my own
They tried to teach me the rules
And save me from an “unfulfilled future”
No, save me from the destructive madness
That has taken up residence in my mind
Night dragged me down with the sun
But I waited until the world was dark
To reveal my heart to the sky
Funny how the hatred I hated so much
Has become the last thing I want to hate
In this hating society of intolerance
I used to hide behind my makeup mask
And laugh the hardest at stupid jokes
But now even the laughter chokes me
And is unwilling to tumble out
In place of the words I’m never able to say
When do I get to be innocent again
The pain remembers how to taunt me
Reread that last line and try to focus
I crave obscurity and anonymity
But all I am left with is a piece of paper
Full of words that never paint the picture
Of the perfect, happy fairy tale
Only showing the ease of how my tears
Fall from the watercolour brushes
And blur the words on the page
Into a painting of psychotic smudges
Insanity? An understatement