my first love was a John
plain as untoasted bread
he had a pork chop for a head
wet lips forever spitting
vanity slept on his pillow
he made breakfast for greed
and soaked the laundry of ambition,
    he made me laugh.

my second love was a Robert
stiff back salad wrap
bristly crew-cut hidden by a moldy cub scout cap
he kept trampolines in his home
Oscar Wilde beating in his heart
and Star Wars running through his veins,
     he touched the corners of my mind.

my third love was a Sammy
sandy matted locks stuck on his sweaty scalp
he had an aversion to shoes,
books, rulers, and quizzes,
but a passion for the open air, he danced with the breeze
we dug shallow graves for dead bats
rode motorcycles behind our mother’s backs,
     he gave me a taste of the wilds.

my fourth love was a Michael
a gritty mash of dark times
he covered me, knocked me off the ground,
messed up he dressed up
as the only one who cared
melted me, poured sweets into my ear
it wasn’t fear, his scarlet wrists electrified me
my knees brushed my chin
I gave in
and in
and in,
he loved me.