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The White Swan
January 11, 2012
The water ripples
as it makes way for you, the
princess of the lake.
© Rebekah K., Parkesburg, PA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 23 comments.
snowleopard100 PLATINUM said...
on May. 25 2012 at 2:08 pm
I love the idea of nature making room for nature--the picture really went along with the poem's theme. Calm and mellow is why I like and you took that theme to a whole new level involving the beauties of nature
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 24 2012 at 11:50 am
Thank you!
dragonfly95 SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2012 at 11:49 am
this i love! three lines that read like more, i adore :) :o
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 8 2012 at 6:19 am
Thank you~ I was trying to relate to the story behind the white swan.
butterfly123 said...
on Apr. 8 2012 at 1:55 am
hey! this is so peaceful and elegant . i love the way you have called the swan as the princess of the lake. great work and keep writing! XD
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 20 2012 at 7:48 am
Thanks a lot~
loveissmiles GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2012 at 7:46 am
This is incredible. Really beautiful.
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 17 2012 at 5:44 pm
Cool thanks for commenting~
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 24 2012 at 5:15 am
Thanks for commenting~
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD said...
on Feb. 23 2012 at 10:49 pm
it's simply beautiful and so much elegance packed in such a short poem :) great job
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 18 2012 at 10:19 am
Thank you for your comment~
PhoenixCrossing GOLD said...
on Feb. 18 2012 at 10:14 am
Short but powerful. Great job. And the picture suits it perfectly! Keep writing!
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 5:11 pm
Thanks so much!
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 1:53 pm
very good, very elegant! Great job!
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 4:23 pm
Thank you again for your comment~
I think that's a potential with most haikus, but the reference makes it a little more edgy - maybe the only thing I would think about is the word "ripples". There may be a slightly more unique way to describe the movement of the water. I don't think it's a huge deal though. I like it a lot.
beautifulspirit PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 11:21 am
I'm worried that some readers will think it is too cheesy. Do you think so?
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