Setting Sun | Teen Ink

Setting Sun

July 18, 2011
By gigi01 GOLD, Seffner, Florida
gigi01 GOLD, Seffner, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 64 comments

I gaze at the boiling sun
As it descends the earth below
happily striding along
Pure rest on all to bestow

As a painter wields a brush
So it scatters clouds above
And kisses them with scarlet lips
And sends them it's golden love

It turns it's pretty face
Revealing locks of gold
Laughing in it's youthful state
Daring darkness' hold

Then the silent cloak of night
Stealthily creeps at the corners of day
And insists on impending vict'ry
And chases the light away

And as the darkess falls over the land
Tumbling strongly so
The last wisps of our maiden's hair
Cling to thier perches with woe

Dark ruby are they And not so young
They boast not so oft
But meekly retreat to their celestial haven
And slink to thier final loft

But in their regretful departure
They dare not be down trodden
For they grasp a valueablr secret
they always return with morning

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This article has 4 comments.

gigi01 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 11:25 am
gigi01 GOLD, Seffner, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 64 comments
Thanks! I was focusing on personification and imagery as I wrote this. I like my word choice (I wrote this last summer) Lol... classical music, sparkling cider, and foot massage? That does sound good lol:) Anna says: "Stop stalking me you wierdo! (jk)"  

Andy49 said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 12:46 am
I agree as well!  I like the tiny details about your poems too, like the little pictures.  It always sets the mood of the poem for me before I even begin to read.  What you need to add now is some classical music to play along as someone reads, and maybe send someone to their house to serve them sparkling cider and provide a foot massage.  but, you're poems are fantastic without all that stuff :)

gigi01 GOLD said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 11:39 am
gigi01 GOLD, Seffner, Florida
17 articles 0 photos 64 comments
Thank you! Nature is so inspiring because it is so beautiful. 

on Jul. 22 2011 at 11:32 am
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
I love the description! And the imagery. Also, great rythm to it.