Good Bye | Teen Ink

Good Bye

February 5, 2024
By Kwkw5454 BRONZE, Pennington, New Jersey
Kwkw5454 BRONZE, Pennington, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The Ship creaks as the seas push at her sides

The only other sight is my grandpa

The Ocean’s not calm even in low tide

 Our Boat is like a baby, without flaw

We try to catch fish, but we don’t have luck

The Ocean’s but another universe

He tells me bout his life, when he got stuck

Our loud talking must have the fish dispersed

The sun is now setting it’s time to go

I look at my grandpa, his time is near

He is surrounded by a pretty glow

We say goodbye forever without fear

When on the boat we never succeeded

But he always gave me what I needed


The author's comments:

My goal in writing this sonnet was to write about the times I spent with my grandpa on his boat. While at first glance the central tension that forms is us attempting to catch fish, at a deeper glance you see it is really about my relationship with my grandpa. By having this poem be in sonnet form, everything flowed together well with the rhyme scheme. I also was able to amplify the turn with my end couplet. I used the Shakespearean Sonnet form in my poem. With the Shakespearan form, I was able to wait for my turn to happen at line 13 rather than line 9. This was important because I wanted to spend most of the time talking about the time we spent on the boat, not necessarily what it meant for me. I also was able to structure the poem more with the three quatrains. I had all three talk about different aspects of our trip which created a more thematic feel with this sonnet, starting with the setting, then the action (or lack thereof), and in the third quatrain the meaning shifts to the larger metaphor. I employed many devices in this poem. In the first line, I personify the boat writing, “The Ship creaks as the seas push at her sides' '(1). The intentional choice to refer to the ship as “she” personifies it. By both personifying and capitalizing “The Ship” I hope the reader sees how important the ship is. It really is not just an object, but rather an extended family member. Then in the 4th line, I have a simile, “Our Boat is like a baby, without flaw.” Here I am saying the boat is perfect and pure like a baby. By doing this I hope the reader continues to see the importance of the boat in the poem. I also employ a slant rhyme here. I rhyme Grandpa and Flaw. I wanted to have a slant rhyme here to bring to attention the line about my grandpa. By doing this I bring together the first and second quatrain since the focus shifts to my grandpa more in the second quatrain. Then, in line 6 I use a metaphor. I write, “The Ocean’s but another universe”(6). Here I want the reader to understand that I see the ocean as another world. This creates the beginning of the concept of seeing deeper, spiritual meaning in the poem.   In line 8, I exaggerate writing, “Our loud talking must have the fish dispersed”(8). Obviously we wouldn't have talked loud enough for all the fish in the whole ocean to avoid us, but in writing this, I let the reader know both that we didn't catch any fish and that we talked a lot while on the boat. Then in the next line I write, “The sun is now setting, it's time to go”(9). This is a symbol for my grandfather's death, as the sun setting is a symbol for his life coming to a close. Also, ending on the word “go” emphasizes he is departing.   Then my last two lines create a paradox, “When on the boat we never succeeded/But he always gave me what I needed”(13,14). This creates a paradox as at first glance the reader is not sure how I could have gotten what I needed if we never caught any fish. While the sonnet follows iambic pentameter as would be expected in the Shakespearean sonnet form, the final line deviates slightly with “But he always gave me what I needed.”  Always is a trochee in this line, the disruption points to two possible meanings.  If read as a trochee, the disruption in iambic pentameter can be used for emphasis to underscore the importance of the word.  Alternatively, if it is read as an iamb, it sounds more like “all ways” than “always” which can be true in that he “gave me what I needed” in all ways.  By writing it this way, both meanings are true.  I hope the reader sees it wasn’t the fish we were after, it was the time we got to spend together. In fact, the whole poem is just a symbol for our relationship.


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