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Am I invisible?
December 10, 2009
Am I invisible to you?
Something you just see through
not a person nor an object
nor something that can cause an effect
on you, your emotions, or your dreams
it makes me want to cry and scream
how can I make you notice me?
tell me what I have to be
your what I long for more than life
but my transparency is the knife
that cuts me down again and again
and causes me so much pain
Just please, I'm begging notice me!
Your attention is the way to set me free...
© Eveliz V., Bayamon, Puerto Rico
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This article has 1 comment.
Bassoonkelley GOLD said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 4:24 pm
Your voice is loud in your work, but the metaphors you chose really keep me from getting into your poetry. "Knife" and "scream" are very common words in poetry, and when you're looking for a great poem you want something new and exciting! Look for more interesting and powerful vocab to strengthen up your poetry.
Really great start!
Really great start!
