5th Twilight: Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) Chapter 2 | Teen Ink

5th Twilight: Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) Chapter 2

October 25, 2009
By dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

chapter 2



Surprise
My eye lids were suddenly drowned with sunlight. It startled me to the point that I had to open my eyes to see what it was. But I guess it was brighter than it seemed . My golden locks of hair were velcroed to my sheets and my fore head was covered with sweat bullets from my previous nightmare. I leaned forward and gazed around my room that had grasped the suns rays almost instantly after I opened my shades. My skin was twinkling in the light and it almost made me impressed to be me, but then I got over my ego. My room was painted a dark shade of purple and fluttering butterflies swirled across my border that was posted at top of my walls. My crib was hand painted by Grandma. It was a bright teal color which reminded me of Jacob and I going to la Push and skipping rocks across the waves. Well mine were rocks Jacob's were boulders. My crib was his muscular figure twirling me round and round. It was his cocoa eyes, his shaggy hair.



My bedroom door was open and I could see the hallway wall outside my room with our family photo hanging on it. Daddy and Mommy were both kissing me on my cheeks. Dad kissing me on the left, Mom on the right. I was smiling in the middle, my hair was flowing down past the cut off of the picture.



I was curious to see if they were out of the bedroom yet. Mom had told me last night that they had somethings to do while I was sleeping. I'm guessing paperwork or something.



"Momma? Are you done with that work you had to do? I'm up!" I whispered this so quietly you could probably hear Auntie Alice walk into the room. I had no reason to yell it. Momma could hear that whisper from a mile away.



"Uhh... just a sec Nessie I need to get dresss... uh get my shoes on. " she said quietly back at me. I could hear a lot to, but I guess my dad said I am a very hard sleeper and never wake up until the sun rises, once I fall asleep. How would he know that? Did he put a air horn next to my ear and blow it or something?



"Ok" I muttered. In an instant they were both standing at my door. Dad smiling wonderfully, Mom as well. I hopped out of the crib and walked torwards them. I hugged them both at the knees because I could not reach any farther. I stared up and saw a smile from both of them. They stared at each other for a moment and then Dad said to her, "Maybe when we get in the car."




Ever since mom learned how too let Dad into her mind, I could never understand their conversations. It made me angry and I stared frustrated at both of them and of course, they laughed, knowing what I just thought.



"It's not funny!" I exclaimed

"We are not laughing at you Nessie." Dad said "It's just we are excited thats all."

"For what?" I asked, curious now.

"It's a surprise." Mom answered with a shining grin on her face.



"Ok well I will get dressed with my new wardrobe and I will meet you outside to go to get some breakfast. I am feeling for a little A positive, hopefully Grandpa has some." I smiled, so did they and then they were gone and out of sight talking in the living room.



I glided towards my walk in closet and was surprised to see what Auntie Alice had provided for me. Ahh Gucci, Chanel, and Juicy Couture filled the air. I could not believe all the new clothing that was in there. I decided to go with something casual. Chanel boots, Gucci skinny jeans, and a Juicy Couture top with a white tiger imprinted on it fit the bill.


I slid off my pajamas and something shiny caught my eye. It was the heart locket my mom had gotten for me for Christmas last year which dangled around my pale neck. I adored that piece and would just crumble if I lost it. I slid on my clothes and snatched my pack that I wore everywhere I went. Ever since my mom gave it to me on that day of misery when the Volturi came, it was cemented to my back.


I walked out of my room and into the hallway to see Mom and Dad waiting for me. They were sitting in the cozy seat and they had the fire going. It was so warm compared to the weather we had been having. These snow storms were crazy.


"Ready Ness?" Daddy asked as he reached out for me to grab his hand.

I did and then exclaimed,"Always."



He grinned and then slung me onto his back. We flew out our wooden door and raced to the mansion. The freezing cold nipped my nose and it felt nice at first but then it became just plain cold. Mom was right behind me drifting back and forward, left to right. It seemed like she was having fun. I know I was having fun watching her.



The temperature outside made Daddy's skin feel warm it felt so warm it was comforting. He turned around and laughed. He had just heard me. Gosh I need to keep my thoughts to a minimum. It must be hard for him to listen to every single persons thoughts and their voices when they speak out loud. I wonder how bad it is at a restaurant. He turned around and grinned again."You can tune the voices out sometimes if they are not to loquacious." I laughed really hard on that one.


We were almost to the mansion when Mom started to speed up and shouted, "Catch me if you can!"
Dad shot back a grin and said, "I'l try not to embarrass you love."
So then it was on. Mom and Dad were neck and neck for a while but on the last stretch of land, Dad push it even harder and Mom could not keep up, Dad won.


"Veterans luck." My mom said under her breath.

"No, just years of practice, you''ll get it love" he answered.


As the bickering was happening we appeared at the front step of the house. I jumped off his back and opened the door myself. This was my house too. Grandpa was watching football with Uncle Em and they were so into it they had not even noticed us walking threw the door. Aunt Rosie was reading some magazine that had a picture of Taylor Swift on the front cover. Then of course Auntie Alice was running downstairs to greet us,"Hey Bella, hey Edward, why hello Renesmee how are you? I heard that you had a surprise toda. That I had no idea about." That last part she glared at Daddy, and he grinned. Jacob I guess was stalking us from behind because he flew threw the door. "Ok, ya ready?" He asked. "Wait you told the dog and not me?" Alice was fuming.

"Well Alice the only reason he knew before you is that he thought of the idea." Answered Daddy with a puzzeled look.
"Wow I never knew he had the brains to think this one up. Good job Scooby -Doo." Aunite Alice never seemed to like Jacob and I never knew why.

"They just like to have creative discussions thats all." Daddy whispered to me.

I nodded my head and then said to everyone epescially Auntie Alice and Jake, "Sorry to interrupt but I am really hungry."
In an instant Grandpa was standing next to me. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen. He sat me down on one of the stools that was seated by the bar and asked me, " What can I get you nessie?"

"Well I would enjoy some A positive please." I said with my hand on my tummy I was always hungry at this house.

"You are just in luck my darling. I just picked some up at the hospital yesterday." As Grandpa was talking, he got out a steel cup and a blood packet from the cupboard . He then opened the packet and slowly poured the blood into the cup without any hesitation. I stared at the red liquid as it slid out of the bag it was in. It looked like silk as it smoothly poured.

I had the urge to ask Grandpa something for a very long time. I decided right now was the perfect time to do so,"Grandpa, if you never leave this house except for work and hunting how do you relax?"

He chuckled at my random question and then replied with, "Well Ness, I know it sounds odd but hunting is my relaxation. The ability to run as fast as my legs will take me is the only way I can let go of everything I am stressed about . Just being able to do whatever on my own time is wonderful. Letting go of the thirst that us as good vampires have to cope with is like releasing pressure from a balloon that is about to burst." He said this so calm that it was surprising that he actually was saying those words. If you were not listening to what he was saying you might have thought he was just telling you what football team was playing tonight on T.V.

That was all we said as I slurped down the blood slowly. After I was Finished I got up and me, Mom, Jacob, and Daddy left to go see my surprise














   



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This article has 108 comments.


deka9 said...
on Jun. 15 2010 at 5:21 am
Hey dkA.M! I love the idea that you're continuing the Twilight series. The storyline is quite creative; however, your details of the characters are quite all over the place. I agree with the comments above about how you switched Renesmee character with a two-year-old and a teenager; she is supposed to be mature/advanced and all, but you have to be consistent. Skinny jeans for a toddler who sleeps in a crib? Anyways, I thought Alice liked Jacob and Rosalie was the one who despised him. Good luck with your writing! Remember to be consistent with Stephenie and your own creations :)

nikki<3 said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 9:48 pm
hey i really like ur idea of making a 5th book its really creative but i do think u should be more descriptive anyways cant wait 2 read the 3rd chapter

JessieB SILVER said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 5:07 pm
JessieB SILVER, Elkton, Maryland
7 articles 1 photo 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
an eye for an eye, and the whole world goes blind~Ghandi

I like it but I have to say. no one can write like stephanie. 

The twilight series is about romance and suspence. There wasn't any of either. 

I like it but I don't think it's a good companion for twilight. sorry!


on Jun. 10 2010 at 5:24 pm
Undiscovered PLATINUM, Trophy Club, Texas
20 articles 0 photos 29 comments
so then you rate all my articles 1s and 2s right? very smooth.

on Jun. 5 2010 at 5:35 pm
briana.leigh SILVER, Glendale, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont cry over the small things that are put in your life. Get over them and build yourself up for the big problems.

WONDERFUL job! i loved it!

on Jun. 2 2010 at 10:48 pm
kittypryde BRONZE, Alberta, Other
3 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do what ya gotta, work, pay the rent, grade papers, dont forget to live, breath slow and write. ( i think i just made that quote up....oh well, it's a quote right?)

that was awsome! i want to read more! maybe you should suggest this to Stephanie Meyer, she might just change her mind of making Breaking Dawn the last book!

on May. 18 2010 at 9:04 pm
Mariah_0.0 SILVER, Peyton, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the change you want to see in the world

love your story, will you please read mine

dkA.M SILVER said...
on May. 15 2010 at 7:31 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments
 Hey u win some u loose some i understand that sometimes writers have to get constructive criticism, and u have given me a lot of it..... and I will be sure to be just as hard on you wen  commenting ur writing... so good luck :) 

on May. 13 2010 at 5:57 pm
BlueInk94 PLATINUM, Valley Park, Missouri
30 articles 0 photos 75 comments
This is really diifrent from the actual series but its pretty good in a diffrent way. some details are out of place buts its still interesting.

on May. 1 2010 at 12:22 am
fusrodahsaraaa GOLD, Albany, Other
16 articles 5 photos 47 comments
This was really good. I laughed at 'Scooby-Doo'. Very imaginitive.... xx

Venus_Queen said...
on Apr. 19 2010 at 7:45 pm
this is really good! loved it!!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 6:06 pm
cHicKEnWaNg1 SILVER, Marietta, Georgia
9 articles 1 photo 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
It aint no thang but a chicken wang

i iked it very much but i would have to say that some details could be change around like her hair is brown and shes growing really fast but she only stops at their knees and shes in a crib but other than that i think you did a great job

on Apr. 9 2010 at 12:51 pm
Undiscovered PLATINUM, Trophy Club, Texas
20 articles 0 photos 29 comments

There were so many things wrong with this story. Renesmee doesn't sparkle. She doesn't have golden hair, it's brown curly, like her Grandfather Charlie. (Remember?) She also is growing at an alarming rate, so why the heck is she still in a crib? You go back and forth between her acting like a teenager and then a two year old.

Um, this is the part where I usually put good comments. I have none. Sorry!


bloods GOLD said...
on Mar. 30 2010 at 3:06 pm
bloods GOLD, Oxford, Arkansas
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
lets ride!

I really really really liked i even loved it i am a big fun of twiligth and now i am a big fan of yours this is a good story. work on some more chapters for this story you could become a book wrigther a very good book wrigther at that.

justbe-3 said...
on Mar. 27 2010 at 11:06 pm
justbe-3, Hollis, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You live but once, you might as well be amusing." -Coco Chanel
"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't." -Richard Bach
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." -Einstein

nice work:)

on Mar. 25 2010 at 10:14 am
ShadowLeaf BRONZE, Gering, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"In the eyes of a dreamer, thoughts are lost in the light of the day, and summoned in the whispers of the night..." this quote is by me!

She or he would rock even more if she made it seem realistic, because a little girl could not have coutoure, or however you spell it...if your going to do a twilight sequel then you better reread the series because you have to know the characters and their attitude and every other small detail to make the story have the twang like twilight its just plain and simple... you are an ameture

on Mar. 13 2010 at 6:12 pm
Drama_Queen13 DIAMOND, Nantucket, Massachusetts
51 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live Life Like A Song."

I Love You. You're no joke my new best friend.

on Mar. 13 2010 at 1:54 am
creativityrules BRONZE, Lucknow, Other
4 articles 0 photos 29 comments
OMG....THIS IS SO AMAZING.... I WAS SO UPSET AFTER BREAKING DAWN THAT I COULDN'T READ MORE OF IT.... U ROCK

on Mar. 3 2010 at 2:05 pm
Skittlelover SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sick of crying, tired of trying. I may be smiling but inside I'm dying

Where is the first chapter??????

kmpoetgirl7 said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 8:54 pm
ohhh my gosh!! This is incredible! I love how you made Renesmee sound so grown up but like a child at once. You know? More description would be good, and I think we're all dying to know what the surprise is!!! You should defintely write more! It's addictive!