It all started with a kiss. A simple, regrettable kiss. It shouldn't have happened. It never, ever, should have happened. There was also that deep sense of doing something wrong. And with it, an adrenaline rush.

What should have been my best day ever turned out to be my worst. It was one of those hot, sticky, August nights, that was always saturated with humidity. One of those night where you think “What could possibly go wrong?”. One of those nights when everything did. I wasn't in control...I should have been, and wasn't. I can not STAND not being in control.

Yet there I was, kissing this random guy. Okay...NOT so random. I know him, really well. Let me back-pedal a bit... It started when I was 15.


“Hey, Gwen,” Jess called, jogging to catch up to me. Jess Green and I had lived next to each other for practically all of our lives! Our mothers had us the same day too, and they had been best friends ever since. At first, they were just neighbors, laughing a bit at how they had given birth the same day. But soon they started having coffee, and going to Pilates together. Then they started going to dinner with each other, and we were just put together because it was a way for them to get away.

Jess was one of those guys you never give a second glance. Straight and brown hair, with brown eyes. Simple enough right? Wrong. He HAD been one of those guys you never give a second glance, but today I had to do a double take. That was not the Jess I knew. His eyes had gotten some caramel flecks in them, making them gorgeous, and his hair had gotten some natural curl and shine. I was still the same Gwen, with long cinnamon hair, and green eyes. Sure, I had gotten a bit tanner, but I was still Gwen.

This summer I had gone away to a camp that kept you there the whole summer. Jess and I wrote tons of letters, and he said his eyes were freaking him out, because of the color but....well, I never expected this.

He jogged past me, before realizing I had stopped. “What's up?” He asked coming over to me and smiling. God, his teeth had gotten white too!!! I started stuttering, and stammering, but he just laughed. “Told ya I changed!” He exclaimed starting to walk again. “You coming?”. I just nodded and scurried after him.

The bus ride was horrible. All the girls were saying “Oh Jess...You sure changed over the summer!” He just flirted with them, and acted like nothing was wrong. Ohhhhh, but it was. When we got off the bus, we walked to school together, just like always... But we both felt the difference. He was going to be popular now, and I wasn't. Before he got his schedule, he gave me a second glance, and before swept away by the popular people, he frowned...


So that's the story. Well, at least a bit of it. The second I got home, I begged and pleaded for a make-over from my mom. I would NOT be ditched by Jess, of all people. She wouldn't give in! And for all of sophomore year, I was just one of the losers.

Hello Junior Year!! My mom let me get my make-over!! My cinnamon brown hair, was highlighted with a golden brown, and my eyes had gained their own flecks of a lime green. Then it was clothes. I hated that part the most. I could deal with my face, but my clothes were my personality! Yet I surrendered it. Telling you I looked good would be an understatement...I was a goddess!!!

When I walked to the bus, Jess approached me. “Hey, you new?” He asked, as I turned to face him. His jaw dropped, “G-G-GWEN?!?!?!”

“Who else?” I asked nonchalantly, turning away from him. He kept trying to talk to me, but I was the new Gwen. I didn't need Jess.

That night, I was invited to a back-to-school party. My mom let me go, and when I arrived...it was chaos! Beer kegs, and spilled cups, and tipped over furniture were everywhere. I head out to the backyard, when Jess bumped into me. “Not yet ready for the party scene?” He whispered in my ear, pulling me up against him. He was obviously smashed...

Then he was kissing me, feeling down my sides, and God, it was horrid! But...good...at the same time. I finally, pushed him away. “Jess, you know I've never liked you like that...” I started, but it was no use. He had passed out on the ground. I ran from that house.

The next day, Jess ignored me; Wouldn't even LOOK at me. I did the same, and went on with life. I hadn't been in control, and now Jess hated me. What else could go wrong? Apparently, he did remember though. A note dropped out of my locker one day after school.

“Hey Gwen...The party was a mistake, and I'm sorry I made it. Please forgive me, and remember...” “I love you more than french fries,” I read aloud. “Love, Jess.”. It had always been our motto together, the french fries... And apparently everything would be OK. But hey! Nothing lasts forever.