The Attack | Teen Ink

The Attack

October 4, 2010
By cupcake23 BRONZE, Livonia, Michigan
cupcake23 BRONZE, Livonia, Michigan
2 articles 2 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, and love as no one has ever loved before.


I lay there limply, pain wrenching through my body. My shoulder felt as if it had been ripped out of its socket. I felt blood oozing along my chest, more seeping down each second. With each ragged breath I took, I felt a sting swell through my torso. I wasn’t thinking straight, only about the jagged pain ripping through my body.
My shoulder hung painfully, the puncture wounds almost too much to bear. My left eye wouldn’t focus, I could only see out of my right. I wished I was dead, that’s how terrible the hurt was. My chest was dripping with blood, the sensation not a pleasing one. I hated blood. It smelled of rust and salt, and the taste was gruesome. I tried to prop myself up against a rock, but the pain was excruciating, and I collapsed. The puncture in my lung let blood into my system, and I started coughing the red liquid up.
I again tried to sit up and this time succeeded. I coughed up things much worse than vomit. What seemed like a never-ending trail of bloody gore full of dirt, skin and other gruesome things came up through my throat. A bit started coming out of the hole in my lung. I wheezed until I had nothing left in me, then closed my eyes and tried to set my thoughts straight. I focused on something, then had to breathe and all I could think of was pain. I tried to think for a while until I lost track of time, then slowly drifted off to sleep.
I dreamt of how this thing came out of nowhere. As I was eating my dinner of raw beans and forest greens, I heard this noise. I spun around to see what it was. All I saw was a giant mass of fur and then something lunging at me. I threw my hands up and it sunk is teeth into my shoulder and chest. That area burned with pain, and I collapsed to the ground. He appeared to begin to clomp around my camp, but I was just lying on the ground, paralyzed with pain, so I wasn’t sure. As he came walking back, he swept a paw across my face. Blood drizzled down my face and a blinding pain flashed through my vision. I instinctively closed my eye to stop the pain. It didn’t really help, my eye was still throbbing with pain, but I felt a little better. The creature had appeared to be leaving when he got my face, so I figured he had gone. I had to get out of there. What if that thing came back? I stood up despite the pain, and clutching my hand to my eye, ran into the forest until I stumbled and fell.
I woke up from my dream drenched in sweat and blood. I felt dizzy and faint, and I couldn’t focus. All I knew was I was extremely thirsty. I got up and looked around for water, but I collapsed as my breathing grew ragged and pained me. I scanned the area, but I couldn’t remember where any water was. Wait, what was I looking for? I looked down and saw my skin. It looked blue. Was that the color it was supposed to be? I was thirsty and confused. Then I passed out.
I gained consciousness sometime during the night. I only remember opening my bleary eyes and seeing darkness, then having trouble breathing. I saw trees around me and forgot where I was. I knew I wasn’t at home; there were no trees at our house. I was befuddled. My shoulder ached with pain, the wounds on it growing black. The hole in my chest made me cough up more blood. It started coming out of my mouth, but with the 3rd, or was it 4th, hack the blood started coming out of the hole in my chest. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, and it was coming from me.
I got up and started looking for water. It was difficult, I only had one eye. I stumbled around; trying to focus on my task, but my mind couldn’t focus. I kept trying to find a stream, a cactus, anything with water. I was so thirsty. I had to find something to drink. I ended up lost, still without water. I felt sweat pouring down my body, and blood too. My chest throbbed with pain, my breathing still ragged. I thought it was because I was thirsty, and that drove me further in search of this necessity.
I began feeling dizzy again, so I sat down to rest. I fell asleep sitting up. I imagined finding a whole lake of water, and drinking from it. I yearned for water so badly I fell into the lake trying to put my face down to the water. I woke up then. I stood up, a little wobbly on my feet. I would find water.
I looked for what seemed like hours, until I saw a stream. I ran to the water and tried to drink from it. But all that was there was a clump of grass. “What?” I thought. There was a stream there just a second ago. Or was there? I was bewildered at what was going on. Why did my arm hurt?
I kept seeing these puddles, or lakes, or streams, but they were never there. Why was this happening? I needed water! I saw another puddle of water. I ran over, expecting to see a spot of mud, or a clump of grass, but I actually felt water! I stuck my face down to it and began slurping up the entire thing. It felt so good going down my throat. The coolness in my mouth made me forget everything else. I drank the entire puddle. I felt so happy and glorious. I decided to take a nap.
I woke up and my stomach hurt, as did my arm and my chest. I sat up and started hurling. I didn’t know why. I coughed up some blood, and with each ragged gulp of air I took, breathing grew harder. What little vision I had was bleary and blurry. I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind was messed up.
So I lie here now, curled up in a decrepit fallen down log barely able to breathe, and vomiting every other breath. The moss I’m on is comfortable, but I am not. I close my eyes now, and let the darkness take me in.

The author's comments:
This story sucked and then I edited it.

"You throw up and then you clean up."
Ray Bradbury

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This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 5 2010 at 6:32 pm
Sadallah BRONZE, Livonia, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
I may not always be right, but i am never wrong.

Really nice, very descriptive and amazing imagery.

Amnoona BRONZE said...
on Oct. 5 2010 at 4:07 pm
Amnoona BRONZE, Bridgeport, Illinois
1 article 1 photo 10 comments

Wow, this has amazing imagery. Such a strong story, really touching and immensely sad.

Great piece of work!