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A Letter to my Sister's Future Boyfriend

July 20, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
More by this author
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Greetings!


For dating my dear little sister, you must be either a very special man or a complete creep who wants to take advantage of her. If you are her first boyfriend, then I suspect it is the latter. All you have to do to disprove my theory is visit our family! If my sister has conned you into deciding to meet us, then you are either very brave or very stupid. Again, I suspect it is the latter.


Anyway, I guess you should know what to expect.


As soon as your vehicle pulls into our driveway, you will be watched. If you are even mildly aware of your surroundings, you will see three short, dark-skinned men in military gear. These are three of the seasonal Filipino workers we employ on our apiary. One of them will be armed with a pellet gun and another will be armed with my dad’s bear hunting rifle. The last one doesn’t need a gun; he’s a bull wrestler. While these three men are dangerous, they aren’t the ones you need to worry about.


At our front door you will be greeted by dad and his double-barrel shotgun. One barrel is filled with rock salt and bacon rind while the other has an actual shell. This is a warning as to what will happen if you break her heart. Still, dad is not the one you should be the most afraid of.


No, the person you should fear most is my mother. She has the aura of a military general and the ruthless streak of a Mafia boss. It is a rare young man that is not intimidated by her. Personally, I don’t think you are one of these rare men.


But if you love my little sister despite her psychotic family, you do indeed deserve her love. If you stick around long enough to marry her, then maybe I can accept you as my brother-in-law. Maybe.

© Kimber E., Yorktown, VA

The author's comments:
This is from my own point-of-view, but it is a fictional letter. Then again, this could happen in real life if my little sister brings a boyfriend home!

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!
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This article has 238 comments.

CallMeAria PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 14 2013 at 11:47 am
CallMeAria PLATINUM, Vancouver, Other
30 articles 27 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON :)

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Loved it! Perfect description of what a guy has to go through to date a girl in some families. It was humorous and your attention to details made me read it right through to the end (which is rare, because I get bored kind of easily -.-)
RunnergirlAlli SILVER said...
on Jun. 12 2013 at 11:32 am
RunnergirlAlli SILVER, Tyndall AFB, Florida
9 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature.&quot; -- Ernest Hemingway &quot;If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don&#039;t write.&quot; -- Anais Nin

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I, too, am a big sister. I completely understand where you're coming from here. I LOVE this piece. You are a great writer! Keep up the good work. :)
lovebass BRONZE said...
on Jun. 2 2013 at 12:20 pm
lovebass BRONZE, Alexandria, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Bass players are always the intellectual kind, but nobody knows it.&quot;

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That's great! ( Reminds me of what I would say to my little sister's boyfriend!)
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 30 2013 at 1:30 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Honestly, I think that's a conversation every girl should be required to have with her brother: treat girls with respect.  You're an awesome big sister. :)  Thanks for commenting!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 30 2013 at 1:29 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thank you! :)
emmernemmer PLATINUM said...
on May. 28 2013 at 3:09 pm
emmernemmer PLATINUM, Stockton, California
25 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;the pen is mightier than the sword&quot;

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I love this story! I don't have a little sister but I have a little brother and I KNOW I'll have to talk to him someday on not being an idiot with girls/not to take advantage of them. I can just see him running home one day and explaining that he just got chased out of someone's house by a dad with a shotgun. I love my brother but he really needs that to happen to him. Love it!
sadhya BRONZE said...
on May. 24 2013 at 4:08 am
sadhya BRONZE, Bangalore, Other
4 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;EVERYONE CANNOT DO EVERYTHING BUT EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING!&quot;:-)

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a different one indeed nice!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 20 2013 at 9:23 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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I'm glad you liked it!  Thanks so much for commenting! :)
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 20 2013 at 9:22 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Hanna, it's fiction because it won't happen.  It's complete hyperbole.  Anyway, thank you for taking the time to comment.
ItsMyLife SILVER said...
on May. 18 2013 at 7:48 pm
ItsMyLife SILVER, Athens, Wisconsin
5 articles 2 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.&rdquo;<br /> -Anonymous

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I love this story sooooooo much! I don't have a little sister, but I have a friend that's younger than me. If she ever told me she had I boyfriend, I'd definately do the same thing! Keep up the awesome romantically humourous work!
hannaj15 SILVER said...
on May. 9 2013 at 9:36 am
hannaj15 SILVER, Kennerdell, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 12 comments
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I really like this letter. It is well written and simple. It is truthful. My only criticism is that this is not fiction. Since it  is for your sister's future boyfriend, he is real. Even if he doesn't read it, it is still true. Despite this, I love it!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 9 2013 at 1:26 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks!  And although I may not be the motherly type, no one had better mess with my little sister.
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on May. 9 2013 at 1:26 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks!  I'm glad you liked it. :)
sarah98 BRONZE said...
on May. 8 2013 at 6:59 pm
sarah98 BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 405 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to write for yourself and have no audience than write for your audience and have no self.

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sounds sooooo much like something i would do for my baby sis..and the family sounds pretty familiar too
yourlove-mywings SILVER said...
on May. 8 2013 at 12:00 pm
yourlove-mywings SILVER, Yuma, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, &lsquo;I repent,&rsquo; you must forgive him.&rdquo; Luke 17:3-4

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this was a great story!!! i loved it!! I would totally write something similar to my sisters boyfriend!! ooh... young 8th graders... watch out!!! lol!! i loved it!!!
 
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2013 at 7:46 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thank you! :)
Miniterror GOLD said...
on Feb. 26 2013 at 2:17 pm
Miniterror GOLD, Yuma, Arizona
10 articles 1 photo 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.&quot; John 3:16

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Dang! That's a crazy family. I enjoyed it.
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Jan. 6 2013 at 11:24 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks!  But I'm done writing on Teen Ink for the foreseeable future.
Ghalo1337 SILVER said...
on Jan. 4 2013 at 7:35 pm
Ghalo1337 SILVER, Brownsmill, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 7 comments
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I can imagine this with my own sister, I love your stories keep on writing
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2012 at 3:51 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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That's good!  I was trying to make the letter somewhat relatable.