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A Letter to my Sister's Future Boyfriend

July 20, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
More by this author
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Greetings!


For dating my dear little sister, you must be either a very special man or a complete creep who wants to take advantage of her. If you are her first boyfriend, then I suspect it is the latter. All you have to do to disprove my theory is visit our family! If my sister has conned you into deciding to meet us, then you are either very brave or very stupid. Again, I suspect it is the latter.


Anyway, I guess you should know what to expect.


As soon as your vehicle pulls into our driveway, you will be watched. If you are even mildly aware of your surroundings, you will see three short, dark-skinned men in military gear. These are three of the seasonal Filipino workers we employ on our apiary. One of them will be armed with a pellet gun and another will be armed with my dad’s bear hunting rifle. The last one doesn’t need a gun; he’s a bull wrestler. While these three men are dangerous, they aren’t the ones you need to worry about.


At our front door you will be greeted by dad and his double-barrel shotgun. One barrel is filled with rock salt and bacon rind while the other has an actual shell. This is a warning as to what will happen if you break her heart. Still, dad is not the one you should be the most afraid of.


No, the person you should fear most is my mother. She has the aura of a military general and the ruthless streak of a Mafia boss. It is a rare young man that is not intimidated by her. Personally, I don’t think you are one of these rare men.


But if you love my little sister despite her psychotic family, you do indeed deserve her love. If you stick around long enough to marry her, then maybe I can accept you as my brother-in-law. Maybe.

© Kimber E., Yorktown, VA

The author's comments:
This is from my own point-of-view, but it is a fictional letter. Then again, this could happen in real life if my little sister brings a boyfriend home!

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!
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This article has 238 comments.

JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 4:17 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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You're welcome!!! :D
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 5:20 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Meh, I think my sister's a little young for you yet. ;)  She's only eleven.
julian GOLD said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 2:13 pm
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.

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haha, that's funny!! I like it! But yeah,  I don't think I'd be dating your sister anytime soon. I'm a little scared by mom's who have the auras of a mafia boss. But nice work!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 1:05 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks for commenting! :)
JoPepper PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 10:05 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Not all those who wander are lost&quot; --JRR Tolkien<br /> <br /> &quot;When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears.&quot; --Jose&#039; Bergamin

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That is funny i love it!!!!!!!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 8 2011 at 8:34 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks for commenting.  Why did you feel "like there was no one on the other side of your talking."?
Alantis SILVER said...
on Sep. 8 2011 at 7:44 pm
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.

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Good writing. Not very fond of the plot line though. I felt like there was no one on the other side of your talking.
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 5 2011 at 2:49 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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I intended to make people laugh. :)  It's sort of fictional, but it could happen if my sister brought home a boyfriend!
sunny.all.day. GOLD said...
on Sep. 3 2011 at 6:23 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.&quot;<br /> &mdash; A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)<br /> &quot;writing is a struggle against silence&quot; carlos fuentos<br /> You miss 100% of the shots you don&#039;t take.&quot;

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wow this is good! and kind of makes me laugh :) even though I'm not sure if that's what u intended or not.... but even if its fictional, it's still a possibility. I know some parents who are kind of like that.. just not as intense :P
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:39 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Oh, we bought a bunch of army surplus gear!  That's okay though.  Thanks for commenting! :)
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:33 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything will be ok in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end.&quot;

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I like this! Except for me it would be about my best friend...and maybe my sister...:P I didn't quite get the military part though.
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 4:25 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks!  :) Why didn't you like the idea?
ItsAshMal SILVER said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 12:12 pm
ItsAshMal SILVER, Guilford, Connecticut
8 articles 0 photos 44 comments
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You write really well! I like the style of it and the way you put your words together. I'm not crazy about the idea, but the writing was good enough to make me want to read it. Lovely work!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 25 2011 at 1:45 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks for commenting! :)
DeeCaf said...
on Aug. 25 2011 at 12:25 pm
DeeCaf, No Way, Other
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
That&#039;s the thing about cake, it demands to be eaten.

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So funny and cute :) <3
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 7:15 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 7:14 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks so much! :)  I'm glad you liked it.
ChocoMint SILVER said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 4:18 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.&quot; - Anonymous <br /> <br /> &quot;Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.&quot; - Anonymous

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I love it to death!!!!  I have two little sisters and that letter pretty much put all of my feelings into words!!!!  I rate this a five star becuase it is so close to what I feel and so close to my own family!  The writing style is really good too, don't get me wrong!  lol
Musika BRONZE said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 2:15 pm
Musika BRONZE, South Lake Tahoe, California
1 article 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because it&#039;s something to do to pass the time until she is old enough to experience the things she writes about.&quot;<br /> &mdash; Nicole Krauss

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I really enjoyed this. It was light and very fun to read!!! :D
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 8:56 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks!  :)