I'm lost. Not like in a forgein country lost, but lost in his sweet brown eyes, ever so slowly drifting away from reality. My anxiety gotten the better of the moment though. 'What if he couldn't stand the way I eat my pizza folded in half or how I was pursuing a career thats "dangerous"?' Those were my thoughts that early morning, but they were extingested as soon as his lips were upon mine. I truly love him with the deepest part of my heart. I tooken the gamble and let him in, he never faltered the slightest in his loyaites. For that I'm thankful. He is most defiantly the man I could see myself happily married to, but in this world I'm not sure if that's still possible.
Damien is a man of mystery, which in a way was what lead me to fancy him. He always seemed in control of every possible situation, so cool and well minded yet completely shy. It was the most intreving thing to me. Well it still is, but this is not the subject of the matter. The subject is I'm scared. I'm petrifed that I'll lose him. What do you do when you finally reel in the guy that you dreamed of and scribbled things down about in your journal? How do you keep him as interested in you as you are in him? I'm lost without him, in all honesty I feel like if we were to break up now that my very soul would shatter and I would just be a walking corpse; like on the zombie movies trying to eat your brains.
Theres' always words running through my mind as of what I would like to tell him. Everything from how his cologne intoxicates my sense of smell to how horrible of a person I feel, when someone doesn't get my bone dry humor. I want to tell him everything but I just can't I'm afraid that it'll be marked as something completely different. I want to open myself up and place everything out on the table, but I just don't know how. I'm scared that because of this flaw in me it'll be what ruins us. 
'US' a word that I just recently included in my vocabulary. It feels so spunky on my tongue, yet so defined. Its the bright yellow to my black and white movie. And he is the sun in which I revolve around, nothing else matters nearly as much as his happiness. And this is why I've captured his bright smiling face as my sunshine. His smile carries the heat of a summer's bonfire. It doesn't matter how gloomy the storm cloud over your head is, at a glance everything melts away. In a way Damien is my hero, he's is as strong as an ox and more stubborn than any bull; and that is what makes him mine.
If there was a chance that I could tell him something and not screw it all to hell I would tell him this: "You are the person I've searched for, for far too long. Every morning you take my breathe away with your sweet words and kind actions. You've managed to sneak in and stoe away my very heart. You are the only thing I have and the only person I depend on.You're wild at nature but gentle at heart. I will never leave, I'll be at your side in a moments notice; you are the one. The one and only that I'll ever claim as my equal and love."
But atlas I can't, I'm too much of a loser to ever be able to trust my emotions. He's as strong as the incredible Hulk but I'm as weak as a twig.  I can't help but hope that he'll always be mine, I'll fight for him until I longer have voice or means. So stay with me a little while longer Baby, I swear it'll be worth all the time in the world.
Every morning I waken grasping for air, from the nightmare prier, I quickly hunt for my tablet to check the time. His face appears on my screen beside the egale and globe. Every morning I stop and admire the face on my screen forgetting that time even exsit. At least for the time being, I hug the screen and drift back to sleep. This time I dream of him and plot out wonders of our dream land life. I dream of travels and the great waters surrounding. He is my salvation not a rebound or game. Damien is my love, to me he owns' the word's meaning. He fills my mind of hope and fantasy, I want to hold him close and be reliant to him.

I'm lost in him as a sailboat in the great lakes, during a snow storm. The angry irony water winning the battle of dragging me below. I'm snow blinded as the ice nibs at my skin sending shivers down my back. Goose bumps take over my skin just like his touch. Only everything about him is warm and welcoming, the wintery weather is not.
Without him I'm only half here and part there, my heart travels with him while my soul is trapped like a caged bird. Damien is my sun raise and sun set, and he is what I think of whenever I look to the Skys'. And when the world is asleep I look to the stars.

Couples everywhere claim that they'll never part and yet they always do. Couples like him and I that been through a lot in our past lives not necseliy together, know that stablebitlity is comfort. I won't damn us by saying there's not a possibility, but we're not your topical persons. Damien and I are far to bullheaded to ever just throw in the towel. That is why I trust him.
Without him I am lost.

    Over time my nightmares stopped, Dammie had brought comfort and support. I was no longer isolated. I opened up more and more to him. I told him of my past. All of it. At first I was scared of what he'd think, I cried and cried the whole time. To my surprise, he didn't judge me or become distant. He swore he'd protect me. He even returned the favor. I swore to him I'd never hurt him for as long as I live.
  After that I started sleeping longer and longer each night. We're a team him and I. But how do I ensure him of my promises? How can I keep this connection between us from breaking? That, I haven't the slightest clue. I'm as honest and direct as I could possibly be to him. I try to be out going, kind and let down my denfenses to him but is that enough? Does he feel the way I do or am I doomed?
    I know I'm so far love sick that there's no hope for return, but I'm okay with that. I'll reach out for his hand whenever I want his sercurity. I'll take care of him and stick by his side if anything ever happens to him. I'll never give up and I'll never surender to society. Because society is a two faced B****. I'll be open and place everything out on the table for him. He deserves to know.
Without him I am lost.

    Words seem to never catch the meaning I intent. I never had to use words to express myself like this. Its a constant struggle to me, how do I explain the amount of graditude I'm in debt to him. He is absolutely amazing. And that is why I am LOST WITHOUT HIM. Damien isn't an object so I won't abuse him. He isn't a game so I don't play him. He is a man so I'll respect him. I love him and if society wants to talk, I'll let it. Because I'm lost within him.