I remember walking into her house for the first time, the cool air pushing my hair back as I open the door and step in. When I go to the right, there is the guest bedroom, which has fluffy carpet that takes over any little thing I drop. When I look to the left there is a dresser in the center of the wall. On the dresser there is an old box TV that my little sister and I were amazed by. With its dusty gray outer casing and its silver wire sticking up, somehow it was still working. On the right there is one window with red hangover curtains, the light dimly shines through, lighting up the dark gray sheets on the bed. This is the place where every night my aunt would read us a bedtime story and wish us good night. Memories like this one make it harder to live without her. She made such an impact on my life I would consider her my hero. 

As I walked down my carpeted stairs and duck my head to get through the door frame, my mom walks into the house, crying, saying that my aunt lost her battle to cancer. She had been fighting cancer for as long as I can remember, in and out of hospitals, but somehow she always seemed happy and just enjoying life while she still had it. Immediately, my heart sank; I tried to convince myself she was lying or I was dreaming. The next few days I was in denial and tried to convince myself she was still with us. She made such an impact on my life that I wasn't ready to let her go. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, each one takes a piece of me with them. The difference of one second could change everything. Having a lot of people taken from me really put in perspective how I should cherish every moment because one second you're there and the next second you could be gone. It's hard though, to try and live my life to the fullest knowing they won't be there with me. I also tend to wonder about the what ifs and what I could have done differently, but I always try to stop myself and reassure myself that it was not my fault. 

Memories are the main thing that I keep with me. I remember especially well when we went swimming with her. I walked out into the screened in pool, the sun was shining through the screen but I couldn't see it very well because there were clouds blocking it. As I walked out, the cold concrete met my feet, and I stepped slowly not wanting to fall. I walked into the pool and felt a chill, but I really wanted to go swimming so I went in anyway. As we got in, my little sister came out of nowhere, running, screaming “cannon ball!” As she jumped, the bright blue splash took over me and I became engulfed in the water. When I came back up, my aunt was right there with her short gray hair dripping water onto her face, and her eyes squinting with concern making sure I was okay. Then, it started raining but we still kept swimming because we didn't care, we were having fun. My sister and I sat on the bright pink layout float and just layed there for a while. As I got out I stepped on the brown edge of the pool, I put on my Hello Kitty towel and went to the table. She was one of the most important people in my life, even though I don't get to see her very often. With having her own problems and struggling so much, she was always the happiest person I knew. You would always see her smiling from ear to ear and she would drop everything for us. She was and still is the strongest person I know. She always put us first and never mentioned how much pain she was in so we wouldn't worry.

All of these little moments made a difference in my life and are the things I remember most. Once, we were sitting around a table, and my aunt brought out these turtles she made out of seashells she found on the beach. They each had one big shell and four small shells on the bottom for legs. They also had a little spiral shell on one end for the tail. On the other end there was a bigger shell for the head. All of them were different, but they all had the same tiny eyes, though some of them had glasses, others had hats of different colors. But they all were made by her so they were extra special.

Even though losses take a big toll on my life I learn from them the most. I make sure that I'm not thinking about the loss but remembering her life and celebrating all she did in it. Even though there is so much bad to think about, I cherish the memories I had with her the most. It really puts into perspective how much you have to live now and take every moment as it comes.