Don't Let Me Forget | Teen Ink

Don't Let Me Forget

September 24, 2013
By that_Kayla_gurl SILVER, Sydney, Other
that_Kayla_gurl SILVER, Sydney, Other
7 articles 7 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellow'd to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies." ~Lord Byron


Cold, shaking hands, constant worrying, can’t sleep or eat; ever have that feeling? I have and it isn’t something I like. Not when I’m about to do something that can affect me and my music this much. See I am in the running for a solo that could put me at the top of our class and I could go farther in the competition and who knows maybe even win. Only, you can’t play a flute when your hands are shaking and your palms are sweaty, and the worst part is that I can’t remember where or how to make the note I need come out.

I have been playing the flute for a while now, but I still get nervous and that is just playing in front of my class which consists of about fourteen people. I have always been nervous when I am in front of people no matter what I do. When I play a piece of music, even when I know that I can play in my sleep, it is so much worse. It should not be as hard as I am making it but whenever I try to play my flue when people are watching me, the nervousness overtakes me like a blanket. That is until I met Aaron, and he showed me how to overcome the fears and not let the nervousness claim me.

There is only three weeks until the big contest and two weeks until we find out whom in our class would be the one to play in it. I have been playing every second I get, skipping meals and playing in bed started becoming a normal thing for me. My parents just didn’t know what to do with all of it so they left me to what I had to do. They had planned a party that was going to be a huge turnout for my brother who was coming home from collage for a visit. They asked me to take a break for the night and I said that I would.

The night was stretching on into the night and people's faces just started blurring together from all of the people that I was meeting. When I was finally left alone to gather myself together I was thrilled. What I really want to do is play my flute and nothing else. No one was around and they didn’t care where or what I was doing so I slip inside and get my flute and escape to play at my favorite spot, under the willow tree that is between ours and the neighbor's house. When I get there I quickly put my flute together and loose myself in the beautiful music that is coming out, thinking back to that day when I first heard about the contest.

“She totally thinks that she is going to get the solo today and I'm ready to prove her wrong this time, I have been sucking up to Mr. K more than she has, which is really hard work; we have to give her credit for that.” says Ashley, my friend who has been my double since third grade when we got paired up together as desk buddies. She is also in band and plays the trombone. “You know I bet you could totally take the solo from Jordan today; we all know that you are so much better than she is, and everyone would love to see her face when you take that chair from her.”

Everyone has that mean girl in their life and mine was in the shape of a 5'2 girl who thought she was better than everyone else, Jordan. She let everyone know how it was a privilege to have her in their class. She was our first chair and she wouldn’t let anyone forget that. What she neglects to tell everyone, is that when we had chair battles I was not in class because I had a doctor’s appointment. So I was cursed with second chair which was crooked and wobbled when you played and let’s not forget, has the best view of Jordan in first chair.

We walk into class and take our seats and take out our instruments and join the other people who are tuning before we start class. Our teacher walks into the room and everyone else who was not sitting down quickly finds their chairs. We run thought the warm ups and the songs for our upcoming concert. I could distantly hear my teacher telling the class about the concert and how we should be dressed and where we should all meet to get ready.

“Oh and there will be a competition for every instrument to see who will be going to the ISSMA competition. We will only be sending one from each family.” My head snaps up as I finally get what my teacher is talking about. I quickly look for Ashley and when I find her she is staring at me with wide eyes. The ISSMA contest is one of the biggest contests we go to but there are usually two or three people from the same family to go. This would be the first year that only one would go to represent. “Who would like to be added to the list for the contest?” Jordan’s hand was the first to shoot up. Ashley just looks at me and I know that this would be a great opportunity but I can’t bring myself to do anything. Ashley is silently telling me to raise my hand as Mr. K is asking for the last time. Then I do something that surprises the both of us. I raise my hand and when Mr. K looks up to see who else has their hand up I feel the warmth in my cheeks and my legs go numb. “Kayla, are you volunteering?” All I can manage is a nod and he looks down and adds my name to his list.

As I am coming to the end of the song I let my fingers do the work and I look at the world around me. This time of year is my favorite when it is still warm outside at night that you only need a light jacket and the smell of the breeze when it carries the smell of flowers to my nose. Then I see a hint of light out in the distance. As I am looking for where it came from another light flashes right by my face I look over startled and realize that the fireflies have come out tonight. Their little flashing lights make the moment that much more magical. As I finish the piece I'm imaging that they are dancing to its melody and I am like a fairy luring them with the music. The song comes to an end and the fireflies stop their dance and is quiet and it is just me the fireflies and the darkness.

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP; the sound wakes me from my daydream and I spin around and look where it is coming from. There is a boy a few feet behind me and he is just smiling at me like a lunatic and clapping.

“What do you think you are doing!?!” I give him the most intimidating look that I can get on my face. Then I realized the worst thing; he heard me playing. I start running and don’t look back even when he is calling after me to stop. What was that boy doing and what made him think that it was okay to come and listen to me play? I started to slow down when I got close to my house to catch my breath. As I was walking to the side of my house, I felt a hand on my arm as it pulled me around. I did not expect to find the boy standing looking down at me, or for him to have my flute in his hand.

“You left this down by the tree. Hi my name is Aaron,” he looked down expectantly at me and I realized that he was waiting for me to tell him my name.

“Hi, I'm Kayla, thanks for bringing this to me,” I say taking my flute from his hand. I start to turn and walk away but he catches me again.

“Hey wait, I just wanted to tell you that whatever you were playing was really nice. I loved the melody but it could use a harmony.” Realizing that he just gave me a compliment I looked up at him and give a shy thank you and I can feel the blush on my face. “Yeah, I play the guitar, and I could just imagine what I could put together that would go great with your piece.”
Was this kid really talking to me about my music? I never had the courage to talk to anyone about it. Wait was this kid really talking to me? I look back up at him and can't help but think he is cute. He is taller than me but not too tall. He has black curls that flop in front of his eyes that he has to keep pushing out of the way. Also let’s not forget those beautiful green eyes that are looking down at me with curiosity. Coming back to the conversation, I realize that he is waiting for an answer; I just shrug.

“So what were you playing that piece for?” he went on.

“I have a chance to play it at a concert that is the biggest competition that we ever go to. I'm just trying to get it perfect before my teacher picks who he wants to send to the real competition.”

“Oh that’s cool. Well, it sounded pretty good to me,” he finishes with a smile that could have made girls crowd at his door.

“Well thanks but the problem is that I can’t seem to find the courage to play it for anyone.”

“What do you mean? I just heard you play it.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that you were there. I was in my own world and not really paying attention to anything else but the music.” He gives me a look as if he wants to say something but then thought better of it.

“Well, that’s dumb. The way that you were playing, you should be able to be heard.” he looks at me with a mischievous grin that was just as good as his smile. “Looks like I will just have to help you get through this then. I used to have stage fright and just couldn’t play a whole song when we went to play at gigs. But I found a really good way to get past that and now I am going to help you; think of me as your music mentor.” He looks down and winks at me and we both just burst out laughing.

“If you really have a way for me to get past it then I will take you up on your offer,” I manage to get out through the laughter. “When do we start?”

We finish laughing and as we are wiping the tears away he grabs my hand and puts a number and address on it. Then he does not let go of my hand and we start walking and swinging our arms together like we were little kids in elementary school. “We are going to be best friends,” he said in a mock little boy voice and we are laughing again.

I wake up in the morning and I am still very tired. The party was a huge success and the last person didn’t leave until two o'clock in the morning. I stumble to my bathroom to go get ready for the day and I look down at my hands and find the number and address still there. So I didn’t dream it all, the night really did happen. I head downstairs and see my brother sitting at the counter eating some eggs. I sit down next to him and he slowly looks over at me.

“So I see that your party went pretty well last night,” I get out before I take a big bite of his eggs. He just shrugs and takes his fork back from me. “Hey can you drive me over somewhere later?” He looks up from his plate with a questioning look in his eyes.

“Sure I guess, where?” I read off the address to him and he just nods. I take that as the end of our conversation and get up to leave. I go up to my room and look around for my phone; I find it sitting on my bed. I go over to it and flip it open and dial the number. I wait for three rings and then a guy picks up at the other end.

“Yeah?” the voice sounds tired and I am worried that I just woke someone up.

“Um, is Aaron there?”

“Yeah one second,” I can hear the voice calling for Aaron on the other end. There is a little noise on the other end like the phone has been dropped. Then Aaron's voice fills my ears.

“Hello?”

“Hey it’s Kayla, from the party last night. I'm sorry for calling early, it’s just that I didn't know what would have been a good time to come over would be.”

“We have band practice at 10, so if you want to come over then that would be cool.” I glance at the clock and see that it is 8:30.

“Yeah that would be great, see you then.”

“Sounds good see you then,” and he hung up.

“Now try it again Kayla, I know that you can do it. All you have to do is clear your mind and just think of the most perfect place when you play. Trust me when you get there, you won’t worry if everyone is here.” I have been going over to Aaron’s house for the past week every day and it has not helped my stage fright at all. He is determined that I am getting close and that I will soon be able to play my piece without stopping. He and his band mates have now been a regular audience and I still get a little shaky when I play for them. “Try again and don’t forget to think of that perfect place.” What Aaron doesn’t know is that I have not been able to find the perfect place. Sometimes I can’t even think straight when I’m trying to play for his friends. Besides, it doesn’t help that he is right beside me and I can only think of him.

“Okay I will try,” I go and start with my song and when I try to continue my mind drifts to that first night that I met Aaron and being with the fireflies all around us. How he was there is the shadows and he thought I was good. I think back to the days of being with him for the past week and a half and the times when we were not practicing and just hanging out. It is a while before I come back from my dream and when I do I am on the last page of music. I have never made it that far before with everyone in the room. I go through the rest of the song and when I finish it is silent. No one knows what to say and then Aaron breaks the silence and yells and hugs and swings me around the room. His friends are cheering and he looks down at me to ask a question.

“What did you do this time!? Did you finally find the place to escape to?”

“Yes, do you remember the first night we met, with all of the fireflies, and the perfect weather, and how you made me laugh. I thought about all the times that you and I have spent together.” That made him look happy and before I knew it he bent down and kissed me.

“Kayla you are going to do great tonight.” Says Ashley on our way towards the building.

“Yeah she better, after all of the work and time that we spent on trying to get her to overcome her stage fright,” Aaron says while walking up to us. We are all just staring up at the building.

“Thank you so much guys for all of your help, especially you.” I turn to Aaron and give him a kiss. We walk into the building and when I am there I wait to be seen by the judges and when I walk into the room I see three judges, Ashley, Aaron, and my parents walk in behind me and crowd the back wall. Right before I start, I look over at Aaron and he holds up a glass jar. When I look into it I see two fireflies. I smile and began and this time when I play I never want to stop.



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