I stood there, staring. Staring at the cold desperation that was ahead of me. The cold hallway that smelt putrid of bleach felt as if it was enclosing on me every second that went by, getting closer and closer into my personal space. No room to breathe. This could be it, this could be the end, but what am I doing? Standing here like a 5ft statue watching time pass me by. I’ve been waiting here since 4’ o clock in the morning, Its 2:30. I haven’t spoken, seen, even looked at anyone. Just standing here, in this crooked, ramped hallway. Time passing me by, along with the constant feeling of extreme fear. Nicole move, go sit down, stop staring. I couldn’t. Couldn’t move, speak, or barely breathe. What’s going to happen? I don’t know.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
One month ago, not only my best friend, but my dad was diagnosed with an enlarged aorta. It hit my family and I like a bus. One cold November day, I came home to my Mom, Sister, and Dad sitting quietly in the living room. This was strange enough because my family and I are rarely in the same room together. My mom was sitting in the old, rackety, rocking chair in the corner by the fireplace. Her hand was on her head and the look of devastation was on her face. My sister Dannielle was lying on the pale, tan couch that lies against the big open windows, which led to the great outdoors. Her head buried so deep into an already damp couch pillow. My dad on the other hand, my dad was sitting in his big, burgundy, lay Z boy chair in front of the bursting, roaring fire. He always enjoyed using our fire place, he loved a good challenge of building the ultimate fire, with colored flames mixed with red, orange, and blue. So warm you can feel the heat when you walk through the front door. I slowly walked into the living room trying to stay as calm as possible. I kept thinking I did something wrong, or my grades were in the toilet, but no. That wasn’t the case.
“Go sit down with your sister,” my mom ordered with a chocked up voice.
“Am I in trouble? I don’t understand why Dannielle has to be here,” I murmured quietly while a rush of nervousness filled my body.
“Nicole, go sit with your sister, we need to discuss something as a family.”
My dad begins to sit up from his big lay Z boy chair, Rests his forearms on his knees and puts his face in his arms. He took a deep breath.
“I have received some bad news earlier this morning. Remember I have had those chest pains for a while now?  I shook my head slowly up and down as a nervous sting of adrenalin rushed through my body, like I knew what he was about to say. “I went to the doctor’s earlier this morning to get it checked out.  They ran some tests and took some blood.”
He paused. Paused for a solid two or three minutes. My mom tearing up. My sister abruptly leaving the room. Before I even knew what was going on, I started to weep.
“Dad, seriously what’s wrong? You need to spit it out right now, you are really scaring me,” I sternly spoke as my voice cracked.
“The doctors diagnosed me with an enlarged Aorta. If I don’t get it surgically fixed in a couple of weeks I might have a chance of going.”
“Go? GO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN GO?” My emotions were over the level of distressed. I couldn’t even process the information that was just thrown at me. Was This a dream? Nightmare?
“Nicole, I know it will be hard, it will be for the whole family. I am being submitted in the hospital in about an hour or so. I will get fixed soon honey, I promise.”
My dad never made any promises, only when he knew he could keep them. One day in the summer when I was six, my mom promised to take me to the zoo to see the giraffes. My mom ended up breaking the promise; I was a devastated little six-year-old girl. When I ran crying to my dad, he told me he would take me to go see the giraffes at the zoo, and he promised. He said with full confidence he would always keep his promises. Ten years later he hasn’t broken one promise, ever.
So, why did he promise this? He doesn’t really know if he’s going to be okay or not. Now I am standing here in this hallway, rerunning my crazy life for the past two weeks in my head. Thinking about every little detail, when my dad is just past those doors. The doors that separate us, the ones where when you push them, you feel as if they don’t move. The doors that lead you to reality.
I paced for what seemed like hours, distracting myself in every which way. My Grandma came up with the idea of playing cards to help distract both of us. So, we traveled down to the hospital cafeteria and sat down at a little rounded, white, coffee table. Right as she dealt the cards, I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye rushing over to us. Before she even reached me, I slammed my cards on the table, and I was out of my chair, and down the hall that seemed forever long. I sprinted up the stairs, and cut too many corners to count, but then I stopped. I stopped right before those big, ugly doors. This was it. My dad is in there, but is he really in there? I mean, is it him? Is he truly okay? I took the biggest deep breath imaginable and pushed those doors with all my might. I traveled down the Intensive Care hallway to his room, the first one on the right. I slowly took a few steps forward with the biggest knot in my stomach. Tears were pouring out of my eyelids to the point where my vision was blurry. I didn’t know what was ahead of me, except for the fact my dad could be okay, or he couldn’t be okay. He better have not broken his promise, I don’t know what I would do without my best friend, or my dad. I took my last step into his room, breathing heavily, snuffling from all the crying, then time paused. He saw me, I saw him. He tilted his head drastically slow.
“What have I always told you? I never break a promise.” I gently sat on the side of his awkward rectangular hospital bed. I made sure I wasn’t bumping the many machines and tubes connected to him. I wrapped my shaking, adrenalin filled arms around the top of his chest and hugged him, it wasn’t a hard hug, but a gentle, relieving, everything’s gonna be okay kind of hug. I couldn’t do anything but cry tears of relief. I was in my Dads arms, after the longest day of my life. The worry and sickness in my stomach was instantly gone when I wrapped my arms around him. I will remember for the rest of my life. I will remember that hug for the rest of my life, what an amazing realization of life that hug gave me.
I will never know when the people I love will leave me. It was a devastating journey almost loosing my dad. I can’t even imagine the heartache I would have if I had lost him. That experience has really changed my perspective on not only my life, but also the peoples close to me. Every moment I spend with the people I love, I cherish. If you really think about it, anything can happen, in any second of any day, and take you totally by surprise. It’s depressing to think that the ones close to me can be gone in a blink of an eye, but that’s life. Life is about living, loving, and being thankful for the people who are there for you throughout your life. I am ready for what life will throw at me next; I will always cherish the memories. Memories last a lifetime.