Something didn't feel right. I couldn't put a finger on what it was, but I knew in my gut that something was wrong. It had been an emotional week not only for myself, but for many people I care about as well. The date was February 4th, and a close family friend of mine, Hudson Wade, was very sick. By "sick" I don't mean he was simply at home running a fever. No, this 11-year-old boy was in the hospital fighting for his life. Hudson had been battling Leukemia for the previous four months but was currently in remission! It had not been until the past week that Hudson had gotten an infection in his brain and matters suddenly became very serious. That all being said, it had not been an easy week.
           

The morning of February 4th felt like a dream, but I remember it vividly. I had gotten up early to take a shower and reflect on everything that was going on. As I stood in the shower, I was brought back to the previous night at church. My sister and I were just hanging out with friends before church when our mom came over to us,
             

"In a few minutes there is going to be a special prayer service for Hudson in the auditorium, y'all are welcome to go."
            

I immediately responded, "Absolutely! We will be there."
           

"Alright it starts in about 30 minutes," she said as she walked away.
     

Once she left we continued to talk to our friends and I lost track of time,
           

"Oh my gosh MaryCate! We need to go, the prayer service just started!"
    

We tried to get to the auditorium as soon as possible without getting in trouble for running in the church halls. The service had already started so we snuck in through the back doors and sat down on one of the back pews by ourselves. At that time I heard Jeff Payne pray,
           

"God we ask for you to heal Hudson and comfort his family through this hard time."
    

I listened to different people beg for God to heal Hudson. It struck me that this was really happening. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed and very angry with God.
           

"God, why are You doing this to Hudson? How can You let all this happen knowing that You are hurting so many people?"
          

I was hurt and so confused in that moment and all I could think of was to blame God. But that morning as I was in the shower, I realized that the best thing to do in a time like this, was pray. Although I don't remember my exact prayer, I do know it was something very similar to this:
           

"Lord, we need You. So many people are hurting right now for the Wade family. I ask that You bring us peace and understanding during this difficult time. Lord, I know You have have a plan for all of this and I trust you..."
       

As I continued to pray I caught myself repeating the same words over and over, "help us to know that You have a plan." Suddenly, I felt very at peace. I was confident that God knew exactly what He was doing with this whole situation and that everything was going to be ok. Although I was feeling very calm at the moment, I started to develop an uneasy feeling in my gut, causing me to feel like something wasn't right.
       

I decided to ignore that feeling and pretend everything was normal by continuing my morning routine. As I was getting ready for school, I heard a light knock on the door as my parents slowly walked in. Wondering why they were up so early, I quickly realized something was wrong.
            

"We need You to come to Maddox's room for a minute," my mom said quietly. I nodded and slowly followed them into his room as my heart started racing. From that moment on, everything started moving in slow motion.
       

As I walked into Maddox's room, I saw MaryCate standing there with a tired look on her face, obviously just woken up. I looked at Maddox's bed and saw him lying there, still asleep. I watched as my mom sat down next to him and gently woke him up. What was going on. Once Maddox had woken up we all stood there silently for what felt like hours, but must have only been seconds. My mind wanted to jump to conclusions and realize what had happened, but I blocked out any thoughts that came to my head.
             

Slowly my dad started to speak, "we got a text from Kirk and Laura at 5:01 this morning saying that Hudson passed away."
           

"What?!," the word left my mouth before I could even comprehend what had just been said.
           

"This isn't happening. No, this can't be real," these were the thoughts going through my head as I refused to believe what I had just been told.
     

It felt like a nightmare that I could not wake up from. The tears started pouring out of my eyes as I stood there in disbelief. My sister began to sob. The worst part was watching my baby brother throw his head into his pillow without saying a word.
           

"W-what happened?," MaryCate mumbled through sobs.
           

"This morning the doctors told Kirk and Laura that Hudson didn't have much time left. They brought in all the kids and the whole family was there, they said he passed away very peacefully."
           

A few moments passed and then I said, "I'm glad it was peaceful."
      

My parents nodded and we all stood there in Maddox's room and cried.
     

There is nothing worse than seeing the people you care about hurt. My heart was hurting for so many people that day, but especially my brother. Maddox didn't leave his bed or even lift up his head from his pillow for hours that day. I will never be able to forget the moaning sounds he made as he laid there. It broke my heart. My mom laid there with him, but my sister and I both went back to our own rooms. Once my door was closed, I threw myself onto my bed and started bawling. It felt so unreal. As I laid there, memories of Hudson flooded my mind. I remembered all the stupid songs him and Maddox made up and thought were so hilarious such as, "A Hobo in New Jersey". I remembered all the times we played Just Dance and Mario Kart and how he was the master at any video game. I remembered all the times I caught him picking his nose and wiping his boogers on whatever piece of furniture was nearest. Hudson was practically another little brother to me and he was gone. You really don't know how much someone means to you until they're gone.
      

Although this experience has been extremely difficult and very emotional, I have learned so much because of it. I have learned to never take life for granted. I know this is a cliche thing to say but it is so important, life is so short and so precious. When I think of the future, I always plan on living a long life and dying at an old age, but in reality, that is not promised to any of us. That doesn't mean we should live in fear of what is coming, but we trust God and His plan. Life is too short to live in fear. Enjoy life and make the most of it. You never know which day will be your last. I believe that God works in mysterious ways and we will never fully be able to understand Him, but He is always good. Even in Hudson's final moments on earth he was not afraid of what was going to happen because he had faith. He knew that God was there with Him even in the scariest moments, because he chose faith over fear.