I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty optimistic and energetic person, always looking for the best things in life, laughing myself to death in every situation. I’m like a little kid who doesn’t shut up no matter how many times you tell them to stop. Really, if you tell me to be serious I will most likely almost pee my pants. Maybe I should tone it down. When I’m walking down the halls in the Spanish building, screaming my lungs out and someone tells me to be quiet, I just laugh it off, but secretly I realize they’re right. Haha, just kidding. Sometimes though, like most every other person on this planet, I have my bad days. You know those days, the ones where you’re at school and you would rather be doing ANYTHING at all besides sit in a classroom and listen to the teacher ramble on and on and on, having to deal with other people (especially teenagers). Sometimes I wish I could just go home and do productive things, like playing with my goats and scrolling miles and miles with my thumb on my phone. Days where I slow down, and actually contemplate my life are the worst. Thinking about all the bad in my life, like how sometimes my sister leaves to the place with sharp, scary, needles that bite you, hungry for your blood. The place where when she goes, everything gets better for her, but makes things worse for me. Where the people you talk to either give you the best or the worst news you will hear in your life. I hate thinking about how the medicine she has to take squirms it’s way through her veins. I remember walking by myself down the long, cold halls of the pediatric care center when I was little, fascinated by the eccentric paintings on the walls like a little kid going to Disneyland for the first time, happy with the gifts they gave me for being strong and understanding why my mom had to leave for months at a time with my baby sister. Really I was just nodding to get  it over with. Staring at the fierce lion, painted with the intention of making kids happy and welcome, made me feel strong and brave. It was like I was the lion, the queen of the jungle exploring and conquering a new place. Now though, it makes my stomach churn, that along with the stench of clean white penetrating my nostrils. I still remember all the teary nights I spent asking the sky what I did to deserve this. Moving to Hemet was the best thing that could have happened to me. A clean slate, a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean conscious, and everything else that means a better life. I’m just cruising through life now, instead of getting worried about the littlest things. I like thinking about all the people that have weaseled their way into my life, and it makes me smile. Maybe that’s why I can never stop laughing.