Comfortable in My Own Skin | Teen Ink

Comfortable in My Own Skin

April 16, 2019
By Anonymous

Disappointment is an emotion that every person experiences at one point in their life. For some people, disappointment stems from themselves, others, or an object not living up to a certain expectation. Many characteristics of life expose an individual to the risk of becoming disappointed, but none do it better than sports. Sports teach children from an early age that they will not be the best at everything in life because not all children are destined to be famous soccer, tennis, or football players. However, all sports have one thing in common: they teach children about what it means to be a winner in the eyes of society.

As a seven-year-old, I had never experienced disappointment. Gymnastics was my forte, and everyone on my team knew it. However, Saturday morning practices were always a struggle for me. For a night owl who used to hiss like a vampire when her mom opened the curtains in the morning, doing flips at eight AM on the weekend was nearly impossible. My entire team was ready to compete in our first competition, but I felt less prepared. More than anything, I was scared that my competition took place in the morning. Part of me didn’t want to compete at all for fear of being the worst on the team. After timidly saluting the judges and competing mediocrely in all the events, I felt less than confident in myself. I knew that I had messed up on every event and felt ashamed that I was not going to win any awards. As I predicted, I watched as my teammates were called onto the podium when my name was not called once. My seven-year-old stomach twisted, and the knot in the back of my throat grew bigger. My parents smiled sympathetically from the stands while I fought back the river that was threatening to overflow behind my eyes. Walking out of the building, countless congratulations could not support my head that was hanging lower than it ever had before. Although I had tried my best, I had convinced myself that I had failed. Why do we measure our achievements based on how much praise and how many awards we receive?

Not winning any awards at my first gymnastics competition dampened my spirits about the sport. Throughout my entire life, praise and concrete awards determined my level of success. Strict coaches instilled upon me that I was competing to win, but never once told me that as long as I tried my best I would still be a winner. People across the globe struggle every day with trying to be the best at not only sports but at life, relying on the praise of others and awards to make them feel good about themselves. Whether this is because of society or upbringing is unknown. However, no person is automatically born needing the approval of others. Sadly, people are trained throughout their life to feel adequate in the eyes of other people and not themselves. I only wish that I could tell my seven-year-old self that I was good enough, but I can not. However, I can remember for the rest of my life that as long as I am proud of myself, receiving awards and praise from others is insignificant.



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