Cancer Is a Race with Time | Teen Ink

Cancer Is a Race with Time

June 11, 2019
By Anonymous

Cancer is a ticking time bomb. You do not know when it is going to go off. You have to hold on tight to your loved one’s and hope for the best. Time is of essence, you overlook your last sip of coffee, your last goodnight, your last hug. You see me here, silently suffering in my own ways.

 Cancer is pain, physical and mental. You have to focus in on mental toughness. Cancer is a battle always fighting against depression, pain, love, family, self control. Every breath you take is a struggle. You see me walking, well more like wobbling because I lose my balance easily. You see me crying because all I want to do is be painless and enjoy the time I have left.  Doctor appointment after doctor appointment drains me. Cancer smells like a musky, gloomy hospital room. Along with undercooked disgusting eggs my nurse brings me because they won’t let my family bring food. Eventually I start losing my hair from the radiation. I can’t stand looking at my sick, hairless self. I become weak and frail from not eating. Cancer takes away your appetite along with your dignity. Cancer is trying to remember if you took your pills because you are afraid to go without. The sight of those pills makes me gag every time from choking them down twice a day. Cancer tastes like cotton balls. My mouth gets so dry and bitter at times. I wake up every morning with an awful taste in my mouth, but I still find a way to thank God for another day. I get to see my daughters and grandkids today I tell myself. I get to see my granddaughter play basketball for the first time. I’m so excited! Actually nevermind Cancer is calling and it told me today’s not a good day to go out. I break the news to my granddaughter, but she doesn’t understand.

         

Cancer is a growing disease that is Irrevocable. I can hear it in my head, the tumors growing. Cancer sounds like a heartbeat thumping over and over again. You may think it’s better to die with warning, but that’s where you have it wrong. Cancer takes the life out of you, always tired, always sick, can’t walk, can’t eat. Cancer is asking yourself why am I like this? Why can’t I fend for myself? I still got fight in me! I’ll take my life back I say, but day by day I slowly drift away. Cancer is waking up not knowing where you are. “Her oxygen is low.” I hear someone say without turning my head. I think I’m hallucinating. “I hate these damn flowers!” I scream to my daughter. I turn around and barley recognize my own daughter. I took care of her for 18 plus years, but now the tables have turned and she’s taking care of me. Cancer is memorizing every flower you have on your window seal because you have no energy to get up. Cancer is getting noticeably worse day by day with nothing you can do. Cancer is getting a time limit on when you should die. It brings me back to the clock in my head ticking nonstop. According to my last three doctors I should have died months ago. I feel it coming though. I notice my body getting weaker along with my mind. I notice my feet going numb and my body getting shaky. I say nothing to no one, I don’t like people to worry about me. Cancer is family feuds on who’s going to get what of mine. Cancer is seeing the dark side of family, I mean who knew my sister would steal from me. Cancer is turning my family into vultures. I’m not even dead yet, but they’re going through my stuff taking what they please. They expect me to put them in my will but I haven’t talked to my aunt in months until she heard I had cancer. No one notices you until you have something to offer.  

       

Cancer woke me up today, I felt the pain in my bones. I had to wake up my granddaughter to open my pill bottle, i'm too weak. I know she has school early today, but I don't know how to live without pain pills anymore. My daughter gets onto me about taking too many, but I ignore her. She thinks i’m addicted and might overdose. I deny it, but she might be right. At this point  I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to leave my family, but i’m just tired of always being sick. I see the pain they carry in their eyes, the tears they try to hide. I truly do appreciate everything my family has done for me. Cancers been on me lately though, it’s a race with time. My body is telling me something. I know it’s going to happen soon, I smell the despair. The ticking in my head went from the rhythm of my heartbeat to slightly ticking every few beats. After all, all things come to an end good or bad. Be lucky for what you have. I didn’t ask for it, It’s the luck of the draw. This is Cancer.


The author's comments:

A definition paper of our choice wriiten for class.


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