My family for the most part is a traditional family, we celebrate the usual holidays like everyone else. Except this holiday was different. This was the first Christmas without my cousin Carrisa. It was hard on everyone when she left us but it was the hardest on my Aunt Marcie, Carrisas mom. I knew from experience the first time for everything without someone who means that much to someone is hard, it doesn’t even feel like we should be celebrating because what's worth celebrating? 

The night was going well, we were eating and laughing and watching tv. All the cousins were in our section of the living room tucked away in our corner talking and on our phones and occasionally listening and budding into the adults' conversation when something sparked our interests.. “The roads are terrible. I don't even like driving anymore” my dad said to my uncle. My mom and aunt and grandma were all gossiping and sitting across from the guys and my mom startled everyone by saying “WHO’S READY FOR PRESENTS!?” My cousins and I all lock eyes then rush over to the tree to start sorting out presents. It became a tradition for the cousins to sort out the presents and disperse them among the family. We all knew Marice was still hurting but I had something special, I had a surprise. What she didn’t know was that I got my uncle to give me about 50 shirts of carrisa’s and I made a blanket out of them for her. I knew she needed something like this. 

When I got to give her the present, it felt like butterflies were gonna come out of my stomach. I watched her unwrap it and watched the tears fill her eyes. Everyone else stopped owping their presents and saw why she was crying. “That's beautiful Alexa” my aunt said once she realized what it was. “Thank you for doing this, you don’t know how much I needed this.” My heart had that feeling, the feeling as though you truly did something good, that I helped even in a small way and made this holiday season a little bit more enjoyable.