Time, life and love are always unexpected. Here I am, sitting in my room with all of those achievements I never thought I would have had. Yet, all my thoughts are related to the fact that I still remember how we first met. It was the spring of 2012. We were in 2nd grade I think, it was our first day at that new school. You, your cousin and I were class fellows and we were in same section. Remember how your sister was our junior?

Even with my eyes closed, I can still recall those days when the lunch breaks would turn into a small eraser fight, where boys and girls would throw erasers at each other. How much fun THAT was?!?! We were so young back then with big dreams. The truth is that I never noticed you that much, because back then you were just a classmate. The time passed and all we both knew about each other were our names, and maybe other light things. Everything was moving fast, we were now in fourth grade. I still recall the scene when my best friend told me that she liked you, I still remember how happy yet confused I was because even back then I still did not think of you anything more than my class fellow. Time passed and I thought that you may also like her. But life took turns and twists which resulted in me and my best friend drifting apart as we moved away from each other emotionally.

But........

In our middle school, or in some places where its called the 6th grade; I suddenly heard the rumor that you and my old best friend were dating and almost every one was busy shipping you both. I was happy but still felt a weird sting in my heart that I has no clue about what that was, after that whenever I saw you I felt...... nauseous, sick, short of breath and....  enchanted... This went on for almost 2-3 years....now, our middle school was ending when I came to know that you guys were moving to the opposite part of the city, unfortunately for us, we lived in a large city. It was almost your last week at that school, that by luck I accidently texted you on your Instagram account rather than your cousin and we started talking. I always found that ironic but that was way too cliché but........  Then, the time came and when you did left the school and I stopped seeing you on a daily basis, I realized that I actually may have loved you. You were my first love! 

Thankfully, due to social media we kept in touch and became best friends eventually. Yes I know you confessed that you love me as well before I did. But just know it has been more than 7 years now, we are on different paths of our lives. We still would have been something else or may be...best friends but you...you were more brutal than fate. I do know that I was not mature or may even be nothing like your type but I still remember how in a middle of heated argument you confessed that you loved me and can not bear to loose me. 

Do you know what happened? During the almost of our junior year's beginning, I wrote the same type of letter like this one. I was thrilled to have you with me but then....it all changed. You started to ignore me more than usual. I was getting skeptical but then 21st of July happened. You saved a photo of mine by saying that I looked breath taking. Now imagine how happy would I have been and then how soul crushing it was for me to find out that you started dating someone like days ago. You even had a join couple account with her with that bitter date, 17th July. 

What hurts the most is that you told my sister behind my back that you were absolutely crazy about me and would have done anything for me. You broke my heart in the most cruelest way possible. I am glad I found out about the truth before you could have played me more. 

We fell out of touch and then you contacted again.....and told the truth when I confronted you. All I was able to think after you came clean was, I was the girl by your side! I supported you! I trusted you! I helped you! I listened to you and your struggles! I was the one who helped you when you were in deep deep ocean of depression! I can not even reveal the details about what you did to my heart or your brutality towards my feelings because I still...........................

The worst thing is.....I still love you! BECAUSE I fell in love love....the real love...The one that makes you want to sacrifice everything for that one particular person. I was so used to sharing everything with you that now I feel empty. No one shines like you did.....And I hate it. I hate you, I hate that I fell for you, I hate that we became friends, I hate that I did not block you when I realized that I texted the wrong person, I hate that I cared for you, I hate that I still get worried about you, I hate that I want the best for you, I hate that I can not seem to hate you, I hate that I am happy that you found your true love in someone else and most importantly, I hate that I still love you.

So,

This is my feelings and dedication to the one, my dear, whom I named cinnamon roll for fun.