Learning How to Cope with Change | Teen Ink

Learning How to Cope with Change

November 20, 2022
By adavis100 BRONZE, Milton, Georgia
adavis100 BRONZE, Milton, Georgia
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I was sitting in class on the first day of freshman year back in my hometown. My father lost his job and we had to leave Auburn, AL and return to Georgia. Yes, I missed all my friends from middle school and was relieved to be back in the city I call home, but deep inside I was sad as my dad no longer had a stable job with an income that could easily support us. This meant that my mom had to return to working twelve-hour shifts, four times a week. The worst of it all, I’m too young to provide any help to my parents by getting a job. All I hear is the chatter from the twenty other kids in this class whose parents have a stable form of income. Sometimes, I wish that I could go back in time and somehow change what happened, but sadly I know that I gained a learning experience from it all.

            All I can wish for is the bell to ring for lunch so I can formally reunite with my friends. I worry about how I’m going to explain to them why I moved back. Do I tell the real story? I don’t know if they will even understand the full picture as to why I had to move back home. “OMG, we missed you so much!” My friend Lily ecstatically says. “I missed you guys more than words can say.” I replied. I don’t know how I was ever away from them for so long, but little do they know I’m a changed person from when I first left. 

Growing up in Milton, Georgia my whole life and then moving to Auburn, AL was one of the most eye-opening situations to occur in my life. My mom met my stepdad who was the assistant basketball coach at Auburn University, and I was forced to move there as I was the only kid left in the house. I guess my sister and two brothers got out just in time. I was devastated to hear this news as I was twelve at the time and feared having to start over in a new town where I knew no one. I knew I lived in the south, but I never imagined southern life in this way as the way African American people are looked at is different. In Georgia, since I was raised in a predominantly white area, people assumed me to be “whitewashed.” Moving to Auburn, I was too “black” for the white people but too “white” for the black people. I had false hope by praying every day to move back home where I already had my set friends and lifestyle. At the time, I didn’t know why moving was so beneficial for us. My mom was finally happy with a good man who had a job that made lots of money with also the fact that he is a retired NBA player, so he has previous finances to live off. Me being young, I was selfish and had no care for any of this and I purposefully made my life miserable by always looking at the cup half empty and not realizing the privileges I had at the time. 

Making friends was easier than I expected, and I wished I had the positive mindset I have grown to have now. My stepdad was friends with the head defensive football coach at Auburn who also lived in our neighborhood. He has twin daughters who I was introduced to and became my first friends in this new town. One of my many talents is that I can tell the difference between twins and never see them as looking alike. “What are yalls name?” I asked. “Sydney and Milan.” They replied. I found it really cool how they are named after cities, it adds character. I got to know them better and was then introduced to their friend group who surprisingly all lived in the same neighborhood as us. This made the whole moving process a lot easier on me as I felt like I had other people who I could talk to, and I achieved a goal of making friends.

One of my biggest struggles was the fear that people would not like me in this town as I was African American and the school I went to was mostly white. Especially being from a different place, I didn’t think people would be so friendly and easy to talk to. When I thought of Alabama, I always thought of a racist and old town type of state where people were rude if you were a different skin color. It’s probably hypocritical of me to interpret people from Alabama to be like this as I wouldn't want them to be stereotypical of me as I am of them. I hoped that my ideas would change living here. Walking into a foreign school, the feeling was frightening and then I felt my whole body shake as I walked down the halls to find my classes. This school smelt like it was built in the 1800’s and no one has remodeled it in the last 50 years. When I discovered where my class was, I quickly found a seat in the back. To my luck, Sydney and Milan came running in late to the class and I was hit with a wave of relief as I knew someone in this class. Surprisingly, they actually sat next to me, and I took this as a sign that they genuinely want to be my friends and weren’t putting up a front in front of our parents. The feeling of having people I can somewhat call friends was an ease in my life at the time. 

What I’ve learned from this whole experience was that life isn’t always how we planned, but all events happen for a reason. I never wanted to move to a new state and leave all that I loved, every person I knew, and all the lessons I learned that I knew at home. Having to restart was an experience that I am grateful to make it through and I thank my mom every day for meeting my stepdad as he is an exceptional father figure that I didn’t have growing up. I made friends for life that I am so happy I met while living in Auburn for a year. My dad sadly doesn’t work at Auburn University anymore, but he now has his own successful basketball training business that I have also made so many new friends from. One of the most impactful life lessons that I grew to know, was that people come and go constantly but they had a significance in that time of your life. 

When I moved back to Georgia the summer before freshman year, I was nervous and excited all at once. I missed the life I had before moving and was happy to do that again with now my mom finding someone that makes her happy. Being back with all my friends was one of the best feelings and I was ecstatic to see them all again. But while being in Auburn, I made more lifelong friends that I keep in touch with now and people I’m grateful I met along the journey of moving to a new place. This lesson has also helped me now in life when it came to picking what college I would go to. Choosing a college far from home was my second chance to see how change would help me learn in life. I took a risk by moving far from home as I knew that it would benefit me in my life. Looking back on having to move in middle school where I had no control to where all the control was in my hands helped me with my decision on where to go to college. Life throws a boat load of challenges at you and how you come out of the storm defines who you really are. I have learned so much about myself from moving and I hope to be a light for others in the future.



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