Hearing the parents roar as we walk on the field and get into position is what made it feel real. The bright green grass with white lines illuminates the field. Previously watching the other soccer team warm up made me feel like I was getting punched in the stomach. Then all of a sudden the high pitched airy sound of the whistle rattles my nerves. The first whistle blew and the tournament final had just begun. I could feel my heart pounding. I am so scared. If I make any mistakes my team will lose. 

No time to think now though, I have to go. I run back and forth to help on defense then back up to the top of the field trying to make a scoring opportunity. The other team comes running towards the goal I am defending. One, two, three people they just beat. It’s only me and the center defenders. I can’t let them get past me. They can't score, it will be my fault.  I go in for the tackle and me and the girl both fall. Another girl from the other team swoops in and steals the ball. The girl dribbles past the defenders and shoots from outside the 18 yard box. 

“Goooaaalll!” I hear her shout. 

I see the looks on my teammates' faces. Everyone is upset. My coach yells out to us and he tells us to shake it off. It was my fault. Why am I so bad? Now my whole team will be mad at me. I slowly pick myself off the burning hot turf. 

Then I hear it, the second whistle which means halftime. My coach is telling us we need to win the second half. I can’t comprehend what he is saying. I am a nervous wreck. His words jumble together and I don’t understand anything. I want to win but I can’t focus. I need to play better. It will be my fault if we lose. Then again I hear the whistle meaning come back on the field. Walking on the field the bright sky and its hot air brush up against me. Halftime is over, we must score.

Up and down the field I run, back and forth from side to side. I am getting tired but I can’t stop now. My head is pounding like it's about to explode. I receive a pass from the back, I pass out wide then a cross into the middle and goal! My whole team runs toward each other leaping with joy. I feel their sweaty jerseys as we all hug. We did it. We tied it back up.

There was not much time left and we are still tied. I don't want to go to overtime, I thought to myself.

“Only a couple minutes left!” I hear my coach shout from the sideline.

We build up the field and shoot but still no goal. I then hear the refs timer go off. The game is over. We are going to overtime. We take our places on the field and the whistle blows. We play the whole 10 minutes, still no goals. The second and final overtime starts. Both teams are desperate for a goal. The other team sends a long leading ball and the fast girl gets to it first and she dribbles, shoots, scores. I feel my mind go blank. My heart completely sinks to the bottom of my chest. But wait, they aren’t celebrating. The ref blows his whistle and points to the ground where he is standing. The goal was offside. It is still tied. My heart then explodes. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and just won the lottery. We quickly try to score but then I heard the worst noise. The high pitched whistle. Overtime was done and we were going to pk’s.

The penalty shot takers had to be 5 out of the 11 people who were just on the field. I was one of the 11. I quickly quiet down hoping to not draw attention to myself. One name, two names, 3 names, 4 names were called. I am so lucky I am not taking a penalty. I would have missed it. But wait, the last name was called. Emme. That was me. I wanted to collapse on the field and start crying. If I miss it is my fault if we lose. I am fourth in line for the penalties. My teammates can tell I’m nervous. A teammate then comes up to me and calms me down and reassures me that I can do this. I slowly start to believe in myself. The nervous butterflies in my stomach start to go away. I can do this. 

We line back up on the field and the first shot was taken by my team. We made it. The other team shoots and scores. It’s now my team's turn again, she shoots and it goes perfectly in the back of the net. The other teams turn now, they miss it. Back to my team, the shot goes just wide of the net. Other team misses as well. Now it's my turn. However, I wasn’t as nervous as before. I can do this. I need to have confidence. I believe in myself. I take a deep breath. In and out. I shoot, it goes to the bottom right. The goalie dives to the left. 

“Goal! You did it!” I hear my teammates yell.

I feel like a volcano ready to burst. I am filled with joy and excitement. I felt this extravagant feeling I’ve never felt before. I can’t believe I just did that. Why was I so nervous? I feel like I can do anything now. The score is now 3-1. The odds are looking good. The other team makes it. It’s now my team's turn. If we make it we win if not the other team might have a chance. The shot hits the post and bounces right back. It is now the other team's last shooter. If they miss we win. The shot is hard and in the upper corner but my goalie jumps high in the air and saves it. My whole team runs for our goalie. We are all over the moon filled with joy and happiness.

I looked around as we were receiving awards and asked myself again, why was I so nervous? Not only did my team win but I was taught to always believe in myself and I now have my confidence back.