Disclaimer: Each name used, does not divulge the true identity of the person for safety reasons.

Now, let’s rewind for a second. Before we go any further, let’s take a small glimpse back into my history. You know what, I had a best friend - the best friend. Intellectual,humorous,kind, pretty, gregarious and just great company - my number one confidant. Unfortunately, for me and my subsequent realisation that it was all a facade, a disguise - I felt and was truly alone. When you find a “best friend” you almost subconsciously and mistakenly isolate and disregard others, undoubtedly without true malicious intentions and without realising any bi-products of that ignorance. Your “best friend” is your whole world, your greatest influence. Much to my chagrin and sorrow, yet not to your surprise, it all fell apart. It, being, of course, my friendship with my supposed “best friend.” Brick by brick. Text by text. Ugh. Phones and social media. Asinine. The media, of course, made things worse. The walls of sincere, viable and necessary communication in relationships was disintegrated by the insidious endeavours of the media. That made me sound like a Disney villain. My apologies. No, the media is exceedingly useful and a stupendous commodity in today’s world, however who knew the ramifications, social and mental, soon became inevitable, irrevocable and ultimately inescapable- some might say. Sorry, that led me slightly off track. Friendship. yes. So for a remarkable period of time, life felt difficult, social situations felt difficult - but I mean loneliness and anxiety is a given in teenage adolescence right? You know when you meet someone, they go out of your life and yet you see a movie and you just believe that they will come running back like the universe is this potent, emotionally-active force pushing you together, in the arms of your “best friend”, because that’s how it was always meant to be… Well, not all movies have a happily ever after permeating through its tale. Why should I get dragged down in public, insulted, disguised in a joke, laughed at for being myself,  envied for my charisma, disparaged for my firm morals and standards, and most significantly, mocked for my kindness, intellect, integrity and open vulnerabilities? The self-indulgence of such actions is truly heinous. No one, at an age as young as mine, should have ever been subjugated by verbal evisceration and anger - it’s distressing. True, inexplicable perturbation. And at that point, a 13 year old girl, on the brink of future social communications,  meeting new people, a chance at happily ever after, seemed troublesome, gruelling and ultimately impossible. I’m stronger now however, and I wouldn’t trade or disparage this emotional strength for anything. Flash forward. Back in September 2022, I met some boys that my current friends met on a youth program. They seemed great, we laughed, played games and spent considerable time in conversation - really chatting and communicating, exemplifying true and honest friendships. Not relationships - I'm only 15! Like adults, not kids. My two friends gave me each of the boy’s backstories and I felt closer to the girls too. They listened and laughed with me, in jokes, yet no malice or malevolence - unconventional to me at such a time. This girl is my cousin’s cousin, now we don’t have much of a backstory together, however we are getting significantly closer, she’s great company, a great laugh and a great friend. But for my cousin, well it’s slightly different. For years and years, we just kind of just drifted through each other’s lives, sometimes close, yet sometimes worlds apart. So this bewildering, yet amazing turn of events in my friendships, also had a chain reaction on my relationship with my cousin. Now, we are closer than ever before, no uncertainty, no struggle, but pure laughter and jubilance - and for her presence in my life, I'm forever thankful. Okay, so. I had just met these boys and we started to form a group, a true friendship - amiable and warm. Well, that leads me exceptionally well into referencing my other two soon-to-be best friends - no quotations necessary thankfully. As a disclaimer, however, all this information is necessary; it's not haphazard or extraneous. I promise. Now, my two other friends are a pair of sisters, thus comprising the firmest yet puriest relationship I've ever seen. For a while, they only had each other and interposing in that solidified team could be quite daunting. However, if my friendships hitherto this point  taught me anything: being a sheep and  backing down to the sight of what appears to be this impenetrable adversary, well your mind is tricking you because - it’s not as hard as it looks to just break down the wall - I wish I knew that sooner. Yet, this wasn’t the hunger games - so i’ll be fine. Being a sheep? You ask? I will say however, the analogy of the sheep, the wolf and the sheepdog has always been stuck with me for a while as I’ve worked through many relationships in my life. I’ll explain it to you. The sheep represents perhaps cowardice, those who are bystanders in unjust situations, those who stand down, and curl up when the going gets tough. The wolf represents the bully, the oppressor, the one who hurts others for their own pleasure, the one in the absence of empathy, compassion and remorse - I've met a few of those in my time. Finally, the sheepdog- my personal favourite ironically enough - symbolises those who stand up for truth and justice, who are galvanised into action in situations where justice is necessary, those who support, love and care for everyone, regardless of your rank - something truly admirable. The point of this analogy is for you to, when this epoch is over, to analyse in your own lives, who’s the wolf, who’s the sheep and who’s the sheep-dog and what are you going to do about these roles in your life? For now, let’s return to these two sisters in my life. Don’t get me wrong, these girls were compacted with warmth, kindness, magnanimity, honesty, loyalty, integrity, forbearance and pure love. Yet, being a teenage girl, I was evidently, in the past anyway, monopolised by a desire to be popular, to fit in. What I now realise was complete ludicrousness. Anyway, my cousin spent copious amounts of time with these sisters on the youth program and it wasn’t long before a desirable friendship was crafted - it was just about where I'd fit into this jigsaw. I’m sure you are all aware of the concept of FOMO - fear of missing out - but my worries and impenetrable fear were soon extinguished. Funny I say jigsaw really because a jigsaw it’s so completely dependable on its counterparts - what I'd do to be the missing piece to such an inspired group of friends. At this point, I knew the boys quite well, we gelled and took a likeness towards each other. I didn’t really care, I just wanted to be closer to these two sisters. Hangouts, at this point, we’re mandatory and a great solution to a newly-developed friendship. So that’s exactly what we did. They are absolutely spectacular. I would trade a limb to be with those girls sometimes, I tell you. The humour, the vibrance, the light and joyous atmosphere - truly irreplaceable. They completely neglected the fact that I pretty much, inadvertently, ignored them for a lot of our youth - but they were never circumspect of me, never questioned my motives, who I was, or what I was doing. They just gave a warm embrace, audacious enough to accept me even though I was in a group of perhaps hostile, imprudent and formidable people before making this big transition. They cared for me unequivocally, and it changes a part of you, that care, your perspective, your actions, your disposition. Be like them. Just care. Whether it was their oblique ways to say to me “I got you” or their postulation of an idea they knew that I would relish so much. They taught me never to capitulate, never stand down for what I believe in - a far juxtaposition of my past friendship, one built sorely on the enervating hike up the social ladder. Built on if he will like me, if she will want to be my friend, if they will ever think i’m cool. Pointless, every one of those thoughts. Each thought reminiscent of that, will falsify your whole perception of a good friendship. That’s the line between a happy, true friendship and one based on a self-indulgent social battle. The falsified ideologies. Popularity, social status, likes, follows and boys. Naturally, friendships and more importantly, healthy and supportive friendships, can prove exceedingly beneficial. Research presented at the British Psychological Society states that having a best friend boosts your resilience and helps you through hardships and intense struggles. Now a conclusion of my friendships, so far anyway. Much to my elation, it was only a matter of time before a group of boys and girls - five girls, three boys - formed into something truly remarkable, something I'll never want to let go of, something I would’ve never procured if I hadn't left my “best friend”. I’ve achieved “better friends” now.

So, dear “best friend”, 

Thank you for everything. Our memories were great, our laughs were greater, but I want to thank you most for making me stronger. I’ll see you around, might say a few words here and there. Thank you “best friend”, now a happy, humorous and healthy friendship . Well I think I've landed exactly there. 

“Jenny”, “Stacey”, “Beth” and “Sarah” - here’s to all the memories in the future, we’ll share. 

For whoever I am, or whoever I choose to be in my life. If I’m kind, loyal, honest, solicitous, trusting, intrepid, loving, willing, caring, munificent, resolute and happy - well then, I owe it all to this journey and attribute it to my “better friends.”