Have you ever heard of the five stages of grief? And have been told that's how grief is and that every person goes through it that way? Well, personally “I disagree with that statement 100%. In my opinion grief is a confusing process that comes in waves when you've lost a loved one. If you look up “what is grief?''It says “a deep sorrow, especially that is caused by someone's death.” I think it can be caused by so many things too. Sometimes by someone's death or maybe even the loss of your favorite stuffed animal as a child.

The first thing I can tell you is that I have experienced grief one too many times and still going through it to this day. I lost my mom 3 years ago in December 2019 from a heart attack. I still remember that day like it happened yesterday. But the crazy thing is now that I look back to that day it's almost like my mom had prescience the day she passed just by the way she was talking and acting. So I wonder if she did know she was going to pass. They say sometimes people do know, so who knows? I also lost my grandma to cancer last year in September 2022. She was my caregiver since my mom passed. My grandma was one of the biggest supporters in my life and she was really like my sanctuary in a human form. I could tell her anything no matter what it was. 

Furthermore, to what I think the grief of a lost loved one is, grief is a confusing process and it comes in waves. However, you may or may not know what I mean by this. But everyone is different when it comes to grieving, some people can handle it and some people can't. Emotions play a very big part in grieving, you can be happy one minute then sad, or maybe even angry. It can even cause you to not be able to sleep, sleep too much, change your eating habits, or cause some to want to start self-harming. Another thing it can cause is you not being as cognizant of what you are doing to others around you. And you don't realize that you're hurting other people's feelings by saying or doing some of the things you may be doing that you're not noticing.

In addition to the first part of my definition of what I think grief is, I've also been experiencing this lately with my grandma's death. My emotions are all over the place. I also can sometimes get mad at people for the dumbest things. Or take my anger out on people when they have done absolutely nothing to me. And even cry for no reason or just be sitting in my room thinking of all the amazing memories I had with her and start crying. I also have had sleeping problems, with restless nights or having such low energy all I want to do is sleep. 

Moreover, my definition of what I think grief is that grief is different for everyone. People say “oh this is the five stages, this must be how grief is for everyone” but grief is not like that at all. Some people can be just fine and not have any of the big issues that come along with grief. Or some people can. They could be so mad and depressed because the person they loved is now gone and they might not ever see that one person ever again. Grief can be a hard process to go through at times and make you want to just give up. But I can say one thing: don't let society tell you that the way you're grieving is wrong because I can promise you that it is absolutely not that way. There are just healthy ways to grieve and unhealthy ways to do so. 

Overall I hope this makes people have a different mindset of the way grief is and helps people understand it more. I want everyone to know even though you feel alone in all this, you're not. There are so many people in the world going through the same thing you might be going through, you just don't know it. But last but not least I do want you to remember that grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, in every way shape, and form. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it's overwhelming. But know that you will get through it, even if it may not seem like it.