When I began to write this, I wanted to talk about relationships, about how people get themselves into toxic relationships all the time. My mom always said I should speak to everyone my age about it, because I know a lot. I could give good advice, but the thing about me is that I won’t take it. I normally do not put up with guys when they treat me the way I shouldn’t be treated. I will stop talking to them, block them, avoid them, it doesn’t matter. But I was thinking this week about what I wanted to write, because normally I can tell you all about relationships, but I couldn’t. After a week and a half of thinking, last night I realized that everything I wanted to share with you about what not to accept from a guy, I am accepting. That I couldn’t think of anything anymore because I did not want to accept that this essay somehow turned about me. How I used to be the girl that watched as others couldn’t leave a man, the ones who put up with stuff that I would’ve blocked them for immediately; but now I am those girls, I understand them. So, since this is now about me, take my advice and be sure not to get yourself into this. The worst part is that girls normally deal with their boyfriends, but he and I are not even dating. So now this is about how I feel about boys. 
 
If you asked me in the day how I feel about him, I would say that I hate him and that he treats me horribly. That I try so hard not to like him, and I want to get over him. But, if you ask me at night how I feel about him, I will tell you that I know exactly why I started liking him, and that part of me wishes that guy would come back. That I keep waiting for him to return. He is not absent he is just uninterested but interested at the same time. This right here is what I like to call a situationship. You may have heard about it, but if not, situationships are basically one person who is confused about what they want. So, you like them and sometimes it seems as though they feel the same way, other days you would believe that he did not even know your name. Totally fun! When I first met him, he was not like this though, we had deep talks, real conversations, he complimented me, flirted with me, saved pictures of me. Like he showed so much interest in me for weeks and so then I started liking him and making it as obvious as he was, but then he started acting differently. I don’t know if he just liked the chase or if he lost feelings. Tell me how I am the one who is getting played when he was the one that showed interest three weeks before I did.  
 
I personally do not trust boys, not a single one of them. They must earn my trust before it is given. This may sound like a stupid conclusion to come to; that people will just assume it is because I have been misled before. You may not understand where I am coming from but let me put this in my perspective, have you ever looked around and noticed what has happened to girls who have put their guard down? Most of the time, she gets lied to, cheated on, or has something done to her. It sounds unfair to compare all guys to them, but let me ask you one thing, would you trust a shark? Why not? Sharks do not want to attack humans; we are not their prey. I mean sharks rarely attack humans. But you would not trust them because what they are capable of doing; That if they are hungry, they will not attack. Overtime you might learn to trust a specific shark after spending a ton of time together, but it will take time, won’t it? That is how I see boys. I could be considerate and not think of the bad side of it, but if I let my guard down to the wrong boy, I will inevitably end up hurt. If I give away trust from the start, then I become easily manipulated and naïve. This is boys' favorite type of girl because they can just get the one thing they truly want without having to make it a long process. It is all just a game to them. If you are offended by this in any way, then you are exactly my example of a boy. That you will never see past a physical connection with a girl to understand what they are truly like; or to even try to realize how they have been treated by boys just like you. Once someone is betrayed it is hard for them to see past that. Most of the time all they get is a sorry and nothing has changed. It never makes them feel better but sometimes they stay anyways. I saw a quote that said, “Love is nothing without action, trust is nothing without proof, and sorry is nothing without change.” If you have a glass of water and you drop it, a million shatter pieces cover the floor. Say you went and picked them up and taped them back together. It would work but when you start pouring more water into it, it will slowly go through the cracks, and you will never be able to get the water where it was before. One touch to the cup and it will crumble. That is how it is after trust is broken, you can forgive them, but you will never fully trust them, or even get close to having the same amount of trust.