Although it was a life changing event and it impacted me a lot I don’t seem to remember the day. I know I was only seven years old and it was sometime in February of 2014. I was home with a bunch of other family members, I knew my mother was sick, but never knew exactly HOW sick. I knew it was hard for her but never realized the extent of her sickness. Going back a few years to the beginning my mother ended up getting breast cancer, everyone else was shocked when I was the only one that was clueless. I wasn’t told exactly what she had at the start of it all but I knew it was something serious since we had to occasionally go to the hospital. We took the seven train, got off a few stops ahead and walked towards the hospital. A few things were always passing my mind at the time; “ How’s mom doing?”, “ When do we get there?” and “ When is she coming home?”. It was nice seeing her but seeing how she was wasn’t nice at all. To this day, I’m still not a fan of hospitals whenever I do go to one and I have to go to where the rooms are. It just gives me memories that I’m not interested in remembering. It sucked not seeing her everyday whenever I woke up. I was so used to her being home and seeing her when I came back from school. Now it was just waking up not seeing her and coming back from school and missing her presence. After a few more hospital visits and more treatment for her, she was able to come home one day. I was so happy and excited because any kid would miss seeing their mother. Something was weird when she came back, I had no idea how to put my finger on it. She looked different, it wasn’t that she lost her hair it was something else. A lingering feeling that crept up on me more and more until that one day in february. Even to this day I remember my father telling me, “ That's the priest that came by the house that one day when your mother was still alive.” Of course it was all said in Spanish, but I know not everyone can understand it. More family started coming by visiting my mother, her sisters, her brothers, her mother. I didn’t find it weird but once I noticed that some of them started staying a little longer and visiting more often that's when I started finding things suspicious. “Maybe they just want to spend time with her. Yeah, that's what it is.” Soon my mother started getting worse and worse, one day she was having trouble speaking. Then the next she couldn’t speak at all, maybe that was later. I knew she had trouble moving and couldn't move by herself. It was heartbreaking seeing her like that, just lying in bed all day and not being responsive. It was actually kind of scary, it was almost like she was dead. That one february day rolled around and I swear at first it seemed “normal” family were there, it was quiet and mom was of course lying in bed. It was the evening (I think around 5/7 pm) and then I heard talking in her bedroom. I was in the living room and then I see some of my family coming in the living room. I forgot who but I think an uncle of mine went into the kitchen and was leaning over the sink, while I think an aunt opened the door and was out in the apartment hallway. Then my name was called and I went into the bedroom, I walked in and saw my mother. She was lying in her bed, not moving and with her eyes open. The thing was, her eyes were open but were rolled back, her skin turned almost yellow, but for the first time after everything that I’ve seen her go through, I was scared. Seeing my mother like that on her bed was terrifying, and the thing that made me even more scared was a family member I don’t recall who exactly but they told me to go over to her. “ Close her eyes.” I didn’t know what that meant but they grabbed my hand and pulled it towards my mother. I don’t want to get into how it went but I know that I chickened out and got scared. After all these years, that moment is stuck with me. I sometimes think if my family saw me as a “Bad daughter” but I never asked them. Now ten years later I still carry that memory and I guess in a way I carry my mother with me wherever I go. I still miss her, even now.