Heart filled with woe, I need an escape, a way to express what it is that I am feeling. I cry but the feeling is still there, I sleep, but the feeling is still there, I eat, but the feeling is still there. I tried numbing the feelings instead of expressing them. I glanced at my tanned guitar sitting up straight in the corner, as if it was begging me to play it. My sister Kylie walks in and sees the dried tears on my face. “Wanna write about it?” she says to me knowing exactly what it is I needed. She hands me my guitar and I start plucking. 

  The metal sounds that ring in my ear once I pluck these ridged strings, these strings that create a world of wonder. Playing to my own tune, I play what I feel, what I hear. Humming a tune that best fits the chord structure. A woeful tune. I hear my own voice, the lyrics strike in my head like lightning. “ I have to write this down”, I tell myself, messily jotting down every word that pops up into my head. Kylie looks at me “Let me see?”.  She reads the words on my page, because that's all they were at that moment. She hums a tune that could be a possible melody, I play the tune on my guitar and for hours we work on melodies, bridges, lyrics and a chorus. Unknown of what the finished product would sound like, I attempted to play and sing the song. I feel the head of the guitar in my left hand and bearing the pain, my fingertips pressed into the strings of the guitar, the body of the guitar resting on my lap, my eyes locked into the first couple of words on my notepad. My breathing staggered, my hands sweaty, Kylie watching me waiting for me to play the song. I feel my legs sink into the front of my bed, thus playing the first three chords. Closing my eyes while hearing my voice ring within me, tears fill my eyes as I continue on, letting all the pain of my dejected heart pour out into this world of a song that you couldn't do nothing more but get lost in. A tear fell from my face onto the word “lost”, as I ended the song. Kylie nods her head in acceptance of the song “ Beautiful Brooklynn”. I shake my head and wipe my tears. 

   One of my favorite artists, Frank Ocean, allows me to connect with his music through the art of his storytelling, the way that he builds worlds simply  through his words. Laying on my bedroom floor, my back against my bed, a playlist filled with melancholy, tears flooding the room. There were a couple seconds of silence before the next song played…White Ferrari by Frank Ocean. I lie on my back to fully experience the song, I close my eyes and I feel. Every note, every instrument, every lyric rang inside of me. After a long time of not feeling anything…I felt something. As the second part of the song plays, I can feel the tears trickle down my face like a soft touch, tears racing down my face. I had never heard anything so well constructed before, how beautifully the harmonies layered, how each instrument had their own part in the story. I wiped my tears and told myself that I wanted to create like that. I want to construct beautiful songs. I want to take my pain and turn it into something beautiful. Frank saved my life that night.

 Frank Ocean once said “I guess I am inspired to tell stories, I enjoy music and the artform so much that it seemed like the perfect medium.” This quote has stuck with me, being able to reach people through song and tell your story through music is such a beautiful art form. Being able to save lives through your music is such an underappreciated thing, it's so powerful. Another Frank Ocean line that has stuck with me for years is this: “Creating in general, you know doing what you feel is right and what connects with you is important…the music I put out, really is me so when people are like they mess with my music you're really saying you're messing with me and that's so cool.” The feeling of satisfaction that comes from being able to express your art in a way that touches other people brings a feeling of accomplishment  knowing that you were able to make others feel through your tragedy or fortune. There are so many limitations in life but when it comes to art and creating, there are no limits. 

  Music has always been in my nature. What I love about music is that you could be the saddest, the most heartbroken, and create something absolutely beautiful. Music makes me feel something when I feel nothing. This is the music in me.