I thought that kids my age were supposed to want to make time fly. To hit the fast forward button on life, and goblle up their entire future.
But lately, I've been wanting everything to just stop. To slow down, at least, give me a chance to catch up. Because I feel as if I've been racing on ahead so fast that I've been leaving everything else behind.
I remember being three, seven, nine. It seemed as if time took forever to pass; I couldn't wait to grow up. But now, I can feel myself getting older; I can feel my life pushing more and more out of its natural spectrum. I don't remember when I started to worry about high school or driving or college; it always seemed so far away, not something that I needed to worry about. But now I'm starting to realize that time does pass, and I will get there sooner than I think.
I know its irrational to feel as if I'm leaving everything behind. My life will still be here. But I feel like I'm losing everybody and everything in my life; everything is changing. I'm changing. And I feel as if I have no control over any of it.
Truthfully, I'm not sure that I'm completely ready to go out and live in the real world. My life has been a tiny bubble for so long, self-contained and only containing the places I went to, the people I knew. Now, I can almost feel my life physically growing, and I can only hope that I'll be able to handle it. Everything is changing, and I just have to face it.