Well, it's hard to wait for the moment when you first fall in love. I only recently got to this point, at only 14 years of age. I don't know if love is meant to last forever, but I do know that the boy I'm in love with right now is special.

It's really a tough concept to explain. He was never who I thought I'd fall for. This boy had always been one of my closest guy friends. He was the kind of guy who pushed me around and messed with me all the time. That was a year ago. A few months ago, I realized that now that a new school year had started and we weren't in the same homeroom anymore, I really missed him. I couldn't stop thinking about him for weeks. I finally realized that I had feelings for him. I know at some point he liked me, but back then I was blinded with infatuation for another guy; his brother!

Once I realized that I liked both of them it was really frustrating. At first I liked his brother more both slowly he started to get ahead. A couple of weeks ago, I decided I loved his brother; as a brother or pet fish.

Two weeks ago I bumped into him in the hallway. He just looked at me in a way that made my stomach scream. That's when I realized that I was truly in love with him. It's a difficult feeling to describe, being in love. When I see him, I find myself loosing my breath. At the same time, however, he is far from suffocating me. I want to just forget about him but he's on my mind at all moments.

Now, every time he sees me with his brother, he either goes and interrupts or gives me a look. In a way, this makes me feel a lot better. It's like he wants me to know that he's the one who is going to be there for me. With just one look, he shares a thousand words. I understand what he feels from his demeanor, and I don't think that my heart would appreciate taking him away. When I find myself loosing hope in him, he always seems to know because he tries harder.

He may not be the guy I end up with. For now we're only friends and we may never be together. However, the moments I've spent with him have been some of the best and without him I don't know where I'd be.

He's definitely worth my tears and all the butterflies that I don't remember swallowing.

That's how it feels to be in love.