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Friendship. So I don't know what this word means to you. Hell, I dont know what it means to me either.
We all have friends. We've all had friends. Some are still around. Some have gone their own way. Some remember us. Some don't. Some still wonder, what if we'd done it right?
Losing friends over the time is said to be like evolution in a way. You know, like a part of living. It's not quite that evolutionary to me, I think. I mean it's hard. Specially for people like me, people who go around pretending like nothing matters, because it does. I mean we could all use a little hug when things get hard. It would be great having someones' hand holding ours when everything else seems to fall apart
But, what if at some point of time you dont have anyone? I mean, are you just going to sit back and give up. Give up on the possibility of the future security. The comfort that is just around the corner, the one which is just waiting to happen if only you could really open your eyes and just see. Are you?
It definitely does seem like the easier option. I've done it before. I know, it's easier to say screw the world and deny the fact that you do really need a helping hand, sometimes. But this denial doesn't stay for that long and it's definitely not as satisfactory as it looks. Because at night when the lights go out, it's just you and you,alone.
I know it seems hard to open up to new people because your past relationships have been disappointing. But do you know what's harder? It's being alone. It really does eat you up, the whole thing about being enough for our own selves and the self realization and stuff, it makes sense but it doesn't quite work in the real world. Because sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you can do ANYTHING, any-f***ing-thing in this world if you wanted to. Sometimes, you just need someone to have blind faith in you. Kinda like hopeless love.
And for all the cynics out there, I know what you're thinking. STOP
Just for a second, stop and pause. Now, think, do you wanna be this lonesome for the rest of your life because you're too scared of getting hurt? Are you gonna miss out on unconditional love?
Because it happens. I know that now.
I mean for a while there, I was quite lost. But over the period of time, I've come so far away from being that girl and it's only because of who, I now call my friends. To be honest, I'd given up on the concept of friendship. But these guys happened suddenly, kinda like a fortunate accident. Serendipity. And I didn't how to stop it. And thank god for that. Because I've never been so secure and loved and accepted in my life. I've never been more like myself than I'm now. And I've never said forever with half as much faith, as I do now.
So, all I'm trying to say is when things dont work out, dont generalize everything. Maybe somethings aren't suppose to work. Maybe some disappointments are leading lights. Lights in the direction of forever. And if you'll stop and open your heart to the possibility of true friendship and love, it'll happen. Maybe it wont happen right now. Maybe you'll have to wait. Maybe you'll struggle with a few. But let me tell you, you're alot closer to finding love than most people out there. And then, one day it'll happen and it'll be the best thing in this world for you. Like it has been for me.
And sometimes, I dont know whether to shout out loud about how I'm the luckiest person in this world because I have the best-est friends ever or hush because I'm afraid someone might steal them away. I guess, once a cynic, always and forever will be one. Well, maybe NOT :)