Concrete Water | Teen Ink

Concrete Water

July 20, 2011
By paige14 GOLD, Portsmouth, Ohio
paige14 GOLD, Portsmouth, Ohio
17 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Say what you need to say--John Mayer

A mass of white surrounds me when I land on the hard surface. I slowly drift downward, the dark depths beneath me. I am jerked upward towards the bright sky. Air surrounds me, yet water runs over my face in streams. The stinging liquid attacks my eyes and coats my tongue with its harsh flavor. It’s wiped away by a dripping appendage. Looking around, I see an equally drenched girl, laughing and pushing thick strands of blonde hair off her face. Waves push us as we swim through the choppy water, finally reaching the long rope stretched across the uneven expanse. Wrapping our fingers around the rough braid, we bob while the boat slowly turns around. We kick the last few feet and look up at the red and yellow monstrosity. Reaching for the black hand-holds, we attempt to pull ourselves out of the depths, flipping the beast on our way up. Dropping back into the lake, we turn the inflatable contraption over. Trying once again, we manage to slip and slide onto the slick surface.

Collapsing, we grab onto a few of the many loops of sopping material. With a thumb’s up, we slowly turn, and then the taut rope jerks. We cling to the thin strips of fabric as the engine roars and pulls us away. Each wave sends us a mile into the air as the water is thrown into disarray. Droplets fall from my nose and eyelashes as I turn to the figure beside me. I catch her eye and we slowly move to the back of the thrashing monster. Our toes skid along the concrete water, and we pull ourselves up, slowly, carefully. Searching for footing on the oil slick beneath us, we cling for our lives. All eyes are on us as we attempt to stand on the impossible. Success!
Or not…Just as we settle into a rhythm of bounces and jerks, a swell the size of a yacht looms ahead. A scream rings through the air as the wall of water collapses over me, sending me flying through the soaking mist. Time slows as I lay on my back, hanging in the air. Then I come crashing back down to reality into the shattering surface beneath me. The world explodes as I am dragged under the maelstrom. I pop back to towards the sky, coughing and sputtering. Laughter rings through the air as I, and my cousin, ready for another crazy ride on Mark Twain Lake.

The author's comments:
Every year I go camping with my family at Mark Twain Lake, Missouri. I love going out on the lake and especially going tubing, which I described in "Concrete Water."

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This article has 4 comments.

on Jan. 14 2012 at 2:41 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

awesome description- at first I didn't understand what was going on... but when I got it It was great- I agree with carrieann13 the way you illustrate the first paragraph was amazing.

on Oct. 10 2011 at 3:37 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I love how you describe tubing in the first paragraph!  The imagery is so vivid and it perfectly describes tubing.  Excellent work! 5/5 stars.

on Oct. 2 2011 at 9:13 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Pretty good i liked it good job Keep writing!!!! :D

Mary_S. said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 12:05 am
Mary_S., Grand Blanc, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Welcome to the New World, where you'd better watch your neck."

This one is also really, really good, but the last sentence is wrong grammar-wise. Aside from that, this is good!