High School is a series of steps upward. And when you start at the bottom, there’s only one direction you can go: up. I realized this when during the first semester of Enriched Frosh Geometry and through experiences I had with people during lunch.

Only a few days before starting the school year, my dad wanted my brother and I to try and take a higher level math then what I was currently enrolled in, Frosh Geometry Honors. I was a little hesitant, thinking that I was not going to be as smart as everyone else and just end up humiliating myself. I knew I was good at math, just not amazing. Being approved to take this course was a surprise to me. Every time I stared down at my schedule, I couldn’t help but to be in a state of shock. My first days in the class just continued to make me feel that I was in the wrong place. Looking down at the first worksheet I turned it, I discovered that I got a 2/10 on the assignment. Soon enough, surrounded by my array of As and Bs from my other subjects, I had a D. One that frowned down at me, D for disappointment. It was one of two letters I thought I would never see in my gradebook in my life. It make me anxious. My dad has been calling me the Math Queen all these years, yet I have the lowest grade in it. Eventually, I did progress, little by little, but was only capable of bringing up my grade by 4% to a C. A letter that doesn’t look as disappointed, but was still lower than what I hoped for. Second quarter was different. The difference I wanted. The first time I checked PowerSchool during that quarter, I was in disbelief. I had a B+ . That disbelief turned into excitement, excitement that I could get an A in the class I had the most trouble in. I got there, and was able to, for the most part, maintain it throughout the rest of the quarter.

Throughout my life, the one thing I felt that I always had trouble with is making friends. I thought that would change when I went to high school. On my first day there, I was excited that I was going to meet all kinds of new people. As I entered the cafeteria, however, I saw people chatting at their lunch tables. I didn’t want to “butt in”, so I sat by myself. Thinking that it would be like this for the rest of the school year, I found myself pleasantly surprised two weeks later when this girl came up to me. She asked me about why I was alone, stating that I looked depressed. We talked for about two minutes until she rejoined her lunch group. The next day, I decided to sit with her and her friends. Two of them I already knew, Jenny from Girl Scouts and Harsha from summer school. Still, I was kind of quiet. I was a little shy, but also I felt as if I could not relate to them. Often times, they cussed and upon occasion, discussed inappropriate content and gossiped behind others people backs. However, I continued to sit there, for I thought there could be some other way to reach out to them. Those three aspects about them I did not really appreciate, but I was open-minded. Perhaps I would find something out about them later that I would enjoy. Also, just feeling that I belonged to a group make me feel humble. However, I was rejected from the group because the girl who invited me to her group felt that I was getting in between her and Jenny’s friendship. The days following I agonized, the days I wanted to cry on my pillow. When I saw them after guidance or in the cafeteria, I wanted to run away or hide. I thought to myself “I was at square one once. Then, I found some friends and decided to sit with them, moving me up to square two or three. Having been rejected made me fall down back to square one. It hurts twice as much as the being there the second time.” The only person I continued to talk to from that group was Jenny. She said that what they did was mean and that not everyone felt that way about me. Still depressed and shocked about the whole situation, I just nodded and did not really what to discuss it. Around the beginning of second quarter, one of my friends from my English and Biology classes saw me sitting by myself and asked me if I wanted to join her lunch group. I was glad that I said yes because I felt like I fit in pretty much immediately. The girls made me feel welcome since the days I joined. As a result, my confidence grew and I felt like I could better manage whatever high school threw at me, including the academic demands I had. I assumed that having a social life would get in the way of schoolwork. However, I found just the opposite. Hanging out with such people has given me that extra boost I needed to feel that I could balance out my life.

I started at the bottom, a D in Math and few friends. However, unlike the caste systems of Ancient Indian times, I was able to improve upon myself. Sometimes, I fell down, like that first assignment I had from Enriched Frosh or the time I was rejected. Those times, I learned, are the times when I am just going to have to pick myself up. In high school, I realized I was not always going to have what I wanted right away. I had to put in effort, and with such things, I had to take it one step at a time.