“What’s it like to be a twin?”
“Why do you have bangs and she doesn’t?”
“Can you read each others’ minds?”
“Are you identical/ fraternal/ maternal/ paternal/ any of the above?”
“Which one is the evil twin?”

These are just a few of the questions that my twin sister Leah and I are asked all the time. For as long as I can remember—and even before that, according to our mom—we’ve had to deal with these questions.

People are very fascinated with twins. It’s as though they think it’s okay to treat us like some weird exhibit and make a huge fuss. Even people who know us well often think of us as a unit rather than two individuals. It’s always “Leah and Sara” this, “the twins” that. I’ve never even had my own birthday party! Leah and I are completely different. We don’t look alike, and we have different personalities, likes, and dislikes. But how can we be individuals when people always lump us together? I’ve been trying to answer this question my whole life, and I’m still not sure.

We both participate in musical theatre and we both do well in school, so for the majority of our lives we’ve been doing the same things together. I’ve had a built-in competitor in everything I’ve done my entire life, and that’s difficult, to say the least.

When I was in fifth grade, I started playing clarinet in the school band. I was pretty good at it, too. Leah wasn't in band, and this was the first time that I had ever done anything without her. I loved band, and I was enjoying making new friends independent of my sister. Then, in sixth grade, Leah decided that she wanted to join band too. Instead of being excited for her, I was disappointed. I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed my newfound independence until then, and there went the only thing I had to myself.

Leah did join band, and she is still in band now. I stopped playing in the band in seventh grade, which is a decision I don’t regret. I needed something that could be my own, and band was no longer that. So I auditioned for my first show ever without Leah. Being without her was terrifying at first, but I made so many new friends, and I was my own person there. My cast mates didn’t think of me as “one of the twins.” I was just Sara.

Since then, we’ve both gotten more independent. We do shows without each other and we have our own friends. But even though we don’t do everything together anymore, we’re still incredibly close. It’s nice for us to be away from each other sometimes, but we know that we’ll always be there for each other.

So when people ask me what it’s like to be a twin, the best answer I have is that I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like not to be a twin. For me, being a twin is just part of life. People will always lump us together and make a fuss. We will always compete with each other and be asked silly questions, but I’m learning to deal with that. My 80-year-old grandma tells me that the learning process will be a lifelong journey, and she should know—she’s a twin too! But there is a special bond between twins that Leah and I will always share, and only someone who’s a twin could ever understand it. Leah will always be my best friend, but sometimes I just have to be Sara. And maybe someday I’ll even get my own birthday party.