I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This couldn't be happening! It wasn't true! My eyes welled up with tears; my heart beat so fast; my lungs felt like bricks when i tried to breathe; my throat swelled up and became dry. My head spun, and I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to scream but no sound came out. Sitting on the couch staring blankly ahead, hearing those five words come out of my parents’ mouths, those five words that would send my world spiraling down in a tornado of emotion. Those five words my parents said that afternoon were, “Your brother was arrested.”

My life has been forever impacted since Saturday, February 16, 2013. On this day, my oldest brother was arrested for theft and possession of drug paraphernalia. No words can be used to describe how betrayed I felt when I found out. I remember curling up into a ball on the couch and bawling my eyes out for at least 40 minutes trying to make sense of everything. I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing because he was always my inspiration. Everything he did, I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He pursued all of his dreams and never, ever gave up. I've never seen him cry and he’s never been caught with his guard down. Although, the day he came home after being arrested, changed everything I once knew about him.

I didn't know that he was going to be coming home on Monday morning, or even if he’d be home for the next few months. I remember I had just woken up and was sitting in my bed clenching my fists due to all the stress. My face and pillows were tear stained, and my room was total chaos from throwing things around during the previous nights. Suddenly, I heard talking and footsteps coming from outside of my door. I didn't think much of it because I was in a blank state of mind. The next thing I knew, my door flew open! I looked up from staring at my clenched fists, and I didn't believe what I saw at first! He was standing in my door, tears running down his face! I couldn't control the rush of emotions I felt at that moment: anger, betrayal, happiness, sorrow, regret,excitement, relief, but most of all love. My heart hurt just looking at him. I couldn't get out of my bed fast enough to hug him. I felt like if I wasn't wrapped up in his arms he’d just disappear like a dream. Both of us stood there hugging and crying. No “I love you”’s or “I’m sorry”’s were needed. We knew. My knees collapsed, and I cried and cried. I was gasping for air and I could hear small gasp coming from him. The only thing he said to me was,

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m here.”

Even standing in that moment, him holding me up; hearing his heart beat; listening to his soft voice, I still couldn't believe that he was there, in my arms. But I did know one thing.

I knew, that family is forever. Love is the most powerful drug in the world, and my brother meant everything to me. Everyone is bound to make mistakes. I know that I have, and I can’t take them back. But I do know, that even when I do make mistakes, my family will still love me no matter how innocent or bad of a mistake. My family has been through so much in the past year, and the fact that we've stuck together throughout it all lets me know that we can make it through anything. Nothing can come between us. It’s like I said earlier, family is forever.