All you want to do is be their shoulder to cry on, their rock when things get too tough. But they won't let you. They push you away when you try to reach out. It seems the only time they return the gesture is when it is convenient for themselves. I mean, we all have rainy patches in our life, but we also have people that are those rays of sunshine too. Its hard to see someone else shine when they keep a cloud blocking the light out. It’s that one day when they realize they need you that they answer to your calls. Then everything seems great and everything is going just fine. There is no way of knowing how it happened or why. But you know that you won't stop fighting for their love in return, because that’s what love does to you. Love takes your heart and emotions and jumbles them all up with your brain so neither of the two can make the right choices. So you just fall. Fall into whatever your heart is leading towards. In all reality, love doesn't care about you getting hurt. It doesn't care about the consequences that will come after. All it cares about is giving love away, to be alive. It wants to make someone else's heart go crazy the same way yours does. When you see that smile, or those eyes, or hear that laugh, there isn't anything you wouldn't do. You memorize almost every small trait they posses and it ropes you in like a rancher pulls in a herd, with no way of escaping. Even a little sign they might want you too, sends your head in a whirl wind. A good night sleep is no where in sight, because you spend all night thinking about how amazing they are. It’s in those moments you don’t think and just do; that your decision is made. You leap in and confess to everything they make you feel. While they sit there listening to all the words spill out of your mouth, you’re even more captivate. It isn't until they return the same words do you truly feel overjoyed. As if a smile could scream louder than words, you know they understand everything you've ever wanted to say. Just being in each others presence is enough to satisfy you for the rest of your life.
From that moment on, you are in this constant high. The world can’t possibly stop you two from anything you have ever hoped to do. You can’t remember yourself before you had them. Life is complete bliss. Until slowly, things start winding down. Each day seems a little more routine, but you’re still feeling all the same things you always have. Then you sense something else is there. Making it harder to see the real them. After a while, you see them pull away. What do you do to help them get back to normal? Then all you have left is trying to be there for them. Only, you wonder why they aren't accepting your help? What if they aren't there for you like you’re there for them? Suddenly, you realize you’re dropped. It comes out of no where. Those feelings are quickly gone within an instant. You were charmed from the minute they entered your life and now you’re frighten you may lose the one person who mattered the most.
When you care like this, nothing they do seems wrong. You make excuses, take the blame, fool yourself into thinking you've really got a chance to patch this back up. That things will go back to normal. When all along you knew deep down you didn't. You lie to yourself, and your world around you starts to seem smaller and smaller. The feelings come in like a hurricane. As if it’s insanely strong winds and neck high water drown you in its love and warmth. But in that struggle and pain you find comfort, because without the struggle you know they're gone. Then, right when you least expect it, it disappears. Out of no where. All that's left behind is a trail of broken debris for you to clean up. So you have no choice, but to clean it up and go searching again for what they took from you. Although, what they stole from you is something you can never get back; your heart, your feelings, your compassion. Once those are implanted in them, you’re basically theirs for the keeping. So you strive to make them understand, jab at them to come back, and thrive for them to listen to your cries because all you want is for them to be yours again. After you've done what you can do, you still hang on for the reason that you’re purely, and blindly in love with this person.
Love is mean, tricky, complicated, and impossible. Although, when in this world, it’s what you need you be happy. When you find the right kind of love its beautiful, unique, and magical in the best way possible.