I fell asleep thinking of pink dresses, high heels, and fluffy cotton candy. In my dreams, I ran in luscious clover fields and rested to the sound of tinkling brooks. I heard the melodious voice of beautiful Mother calling to me from over the hill.
When I ran to her, she took me up in her arms and spun me in circles until I was dizzy.
Laughing, we both sat down to eat the delicious turkey Mother had spent all afternoon preparing. Father joined us soon after. We shared stories about our days, and my parents were particularly delighted by my story of fairy hunting. We smiled together as I recounted my first encounter with a fairy clad in the most delicate flower petals. She was riding the gentlest beetle, I said to them. That’s amazing Jessica, they said. Tell us more. And tell them I did. I talked until dinner ended.
I helped do the dishes. I was so proud when father patted my head and said, good job, what a polite girl, to me. It was the first time I got to help with the chores. I felt like such a big girl. But I almost dropped the next plate I tried to carry. That’s okay Jess, said Mother. We can’t grow up all at once.
We all slept on one bed. Mother and Father were on either side of me. I felt safe in their warmth, their bodies strong and solid on either side of me.
I woke up to my unicorn and lion on either side of me. My blanket was so threadbare that I was shivering. Mother and Father were already shouting at each other in the living room.
I dressed in an unwashed pair of navy blue pants, and a soiled gray t-shirt. I slipped on my worn pair of sneakers that had holes in more than one place. I sighed before I stepped out into another war.
As soon as I opened the door, a pen sailed over my head and flew into my room. I glanced at my parents as they continued to yell and argue about Father’s apparent dependence on alcohol. Father caught me looking and threw another pen my way. What are you looking at, piece of worthless trash. All you do is eat my food.
I sat down in front of bowl of cheap, sugary cereal with a fresh pen mark and bruise on my forehead. I quickly scarfed down the food with the sound of my parents fighting as background noise. I threw the bowl into the sink before Father could catch me and launch something else at me, and bolted out the door. I ran all the way to the bus stop, too scared to look back in case Father was chasing me again.
At school, I sank into my chair. I looked at the other kids in their freshly pressed white shirts, then looked down at my own dirty gray shirt. I felt the sting of jealousy piercing the walls of my heart and invading my bloodstream. In social studies class, I put my Hello Kitty pencil case on the desk and used it as a pillow for my class time nap.
In my dream, I was wearing a gorgeous, flowing white chiffon dress. I had delicate lace shoes on my feet and when I walked into class, all the other kids were jealous of me. The teacher smiled at me and said, how beautiful you look Jessica. And I smiled too. I floated into my seat, and the other students turned to look at my beauty. She’s so lovely, they whispered to each other. I tucked my flowing ebony hair behind my ear and they fawned over its silky smoothness.
I woke up to a scowling teacher’s face in my own. When I tried to sit up, there was a string of drool from my mouth to my metal pencil case. Pfft, loser, my seatmate said to me. My t-shirt, stiff from my own sweat, stuck to my back. All the other students stopped working on their worksheets, and turned to stare at me. I felt my face go red, and I felt like crying.
At the end of the day, I didn’t want to go home. I stayed at the library until it closed, reading hard books that other kids in my class didn’t even consider reading, watching fun movies that their mother’s didn’t let them watch, and playing awesome computer games they weren’t allowed to play on the weekends. I swiped a pack of gum from an outdoor merchant when he wasn’t looking, and took off down the street. I popped a few sticks of the bubblegum in my mouth and blew huge bubbles that Mother would be proud of. I spit the gum out before I got home.
I tentatively cracked the front door open, and peaked inside. I tumbled forward when someone tugged on it from the inside.  I winced when my backpack landed on my right shin. That was going to leave a nasty bruise.
When I looked up, I saw the seething face of Father hovering above me. Every time he lets out a belabored breath, I can smell the sickening scent of the hard liquor he had been drinking earlier to impress his colleagues. I remembered the one time I had gone out looking for Father, and saw him laughing and conversing normally with people. I thought, is that really my father? But that night, like every other night, he came home unable to support himself.
And today, just like that night, it seemed as though I wouldn’t escape his wrath unscathed. I tried to crawl to my room where I could lock the door against his fists, but he grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me backwards, effectively cutting off my flow of air and leaving me dazed and gasping for breath on the floor of the kitchen, where he flung me. Mother threw herself at him and screamed to me.
“Jessica, run!”
I didn’t need to be told a second time. I ran down the street to the place Mother had told me to stay if I ever couldn’t go home.
I waited there for what felt like forever. The winter air wrapped its cold and frigid fingers around my arms and left me shivering. When Mother finally came, it was like she had beaten the cold away, and all that was left, were her warm, rough hands caressing my cheek. I fell asleep in her embrace.
We’re finally free, my dreams whispered to me. The corners of my subconscious tasted and digested every facet of the word. Free.
The next morning, I woke up with both my unicorn and my lion. His shoes, shirts, pens, and alcohol, all of it was gone. But Mother was there and her breath smelled like the rest of the bubblegum I had swiped from that vendor. And it wasn’t a dream.