Alright, I’m in the cave, phosphorescent moss glowing up at me and showing me the way through the damp darkness. I round the corner to find an overweight Irishman snoring like a congested Water Buffalo. Sure enough next to hiw was a gigantic metal cauldron. Was this guy seriously a Leprechaun? It doesn’t matter I am only here for the gold honestly. He has probably been asleep for weeks judging by the stream of drool that is running down the chest of his boston celtics shirt. I pull myself up over the rim of the cold damp cauldron, telling myself that I'll only take enough gold to pay off the rent for the last couple of months, not enough to bankrupt the guy. I feel a smile creeping across my landlord’s face as I pull my head the last couple inches over the rim.

“What even?” I ask aloud in exasperation as I discover that the cauldron is filled with lucky charms cereal.

I feel a large Irish fist hit the side of my head and I am lying dead on the glowing mossy floor of the cave. What a let down.