She could recall a time when life was enjoyable, endurable. She used to believe in many things. Now she could hardly bring herself to laugh at jokes or be around people. Figures such as Santa Claus and the tooth fairy were reminiscent of her old life. Before she had lost faith in most things.

Everything in her world had changed. She hated it. She wanted everything to stay the way she had always known them to be. She blamed the people around her for this change. Her home. She would cry because she felt so alone. No one else seemed to be struggling the way she was. Waking up every morning got harder and harder. There was so much work in a single day, but twenty-four hours just did not suffice. And as the clock seemed to race out of time, the workload piled on, escalating by the second.

Many of her old friends had lost interest in her, but she had managed to make some new friends to replace them. Stress, anxiety, rejection, helplessness. Sadness so overwhelming that sometimes even crying was not enough to subdue it. Her hate for change grew stronger by each second. It took away everything that gave her life stability.

Growing up was even scarier. Everyday, more people had their lives taken by those who possessed hate in their hearts. She was afraid. Everyone said that another world war was emerging. Oppression ran rampant. Although she was not always immediately affected, it hurt her to watch bad things happen. She faced competition in almost everything she did. Her eyes opened to society as it actually was. Instead of being transparent, it was the most complex thing she had ever seen. She longed to go back to being ignorant, unaware. A time when she did not have to witness such despair and tragedy. A time of bliss.

Her fears blinded her. She believed she knew everything. That her eyes had seen all. But she was wrong. She paid attention to the things that made the world a disgusting place, ignoring its beauty. Perhaps she had not looked hard enough, but she was unable to find the things that made life worthwhile. They hid themselves in her doubts and her tears, suffocated by her partial and pessimistic views of the world.

For so long she ignored the world’s raw beauty. She was able to explore its complexity once accustomed to her surroundings. She made some new foreign friends while doing so. Appreciation, laughter, happiness in its rawest form. She realized that not being able to accept her circumstances would be her downfall. She was so full of helplessness that she had grown to be afraid of the world and of herself. She forgot to appreciate the things that made life good.

She spent less time alone in dark rooms with tears running down her face. She instead dedicated herself to fixing the things she had hardly given a second’s glance at in the past. Ruined relationships began to mend themselves. She spent less time with her old friend anxiety and more with her new one, delight. She used her voice to advocate for change instead of for the expression of her sadness. She was no longer sorry for herself and instead spent more of her time with people who made her feel special. And over time, she began to love herself. She could finally breathe free again, as she had once done in her childhood. And at last she was able to witness the beauty of life in its entirety.