Let me just begin with stating the name of this case. The Shower Epidemic: A Young Girl’s Quest for Happiness and Equality. I am here today to address a very pressing issue by coming forth with a proposal and valid argument to avoid having this injustice go on any longer. I implore all families across the world to stop using water while teenage girls- *cough* me *cough* -are taking showers. Showers should be considered a sacred time to completely purify the soul.

I, personally, can not stand when someone uses water while I’m in the shower. Hello! It’s me. I was wondering if you could let me take my shower in peace, without freezing to death or burning to a crisp! Thanks for the consideration (even though you didn't actually consider my feelings or limbs). It seems like everytime I get in the shower, my siblings just have to come to my bathroom and pee during my showertime. Everytime I ask them not to flush they do! And surprise, surprise, I get burnt. Third degree, scalding hot water torture. Obviously my brother and sisters don’t love me, and if they did they wouldn’t put me through this agonizing pain. How rude can you get??
     

To teach them a lesson I usually beat them. A few fat lips here and there. The occasional broken bone and concussion. It doesn't really hurt them. I only do it so they will understand that it's not okay to mess up people's showers. Most important life lesson.
     

One morning, I decided (because I'm into that hygiene business) that I would take a shower. I turned on the water and made sure it was the perfect temperature, and I got in. So there I was, jamming out to the songs in my head and thinking about how amazing my vocals are and how it really is messed up that they kicked Pluto out of the planet club when BAM! it hits me. The coldest water I have ever felt pelts my back relentlessly. I mean, chunks of ice are hitting me in the back of the head. So of course, I turn off the water and peek out the shower curtain to see who just attempted to assassinate me because this was not going to go unpunished. My brother turns to me, a toothbrush in his mouth, wide eyed. “Leave. Now.” I managed to squeeze out through my clattering teeth. He squeaked and ran. Long story short, my brother hasn't brushed his teeth since.
    

One of the worst things is when my parents start doing laundry or do the dishes when they know I am cleansing my body and mind of all evil. They still wonder how I got hypothermia in Texas. They know exactly what they did. I lost three and a half toes! Who could do that to their own child? Especially one as angelic and caring as I. Why would you do this to me, mother? Father, do you have an explanation for this injustice? If they just listened to me for one second maybe my life wouldn’t be so hard, and I could have my peaceful shower time without death and horror-film-worthy theatrics.