I don’t remember exactly what lead up to the event that took place that day, being I was only about 10 or 11. But it was the same girl. Throughout my childhood that one girl made fun of me, teased me, made me feel embarrassed and tried to steal my friends.

And throughout my childhood I had two best friends. We were as close as three girls could have been. They both were friends with that one girl, and one day we were all together at a local pizza shop. I hated the days she was with us.

Like I said, I really don’t remember a lot about what lead up to it, but I do remember this. All four of us were sitting in a booth. Two on one side, two on the other. She motioned for my friend sitting next to me to come over to their side. She did. I was alone. She started laughing and whispering into their ears while looking at me dead in the eye. I sat there on my own side, awkward, vulnerable and feeling like I was under attack. What was she saying?

Afterwards they said they didn’t mean it and that they were just playing along. I was naive and flustered and accepted it and moved on.

But the crap I got from her never really stopped. And to this day I wonder why she didn’t like me so much. Up until the day we graduated middle school I felt tension between us. Maybe it was because I was an easy target. Maybe it was because I would never stand up for myself. Maybe it was her, not me.

And even today, when I see her or imagine her, the first feeling I experience is intimidation. That’s the feeling I have always associated with her, even if she is more mature now. However, not a second later that feeling is squashed by confidence and knowing that no one will ever make me feel the way she made me feel again.