Worth It | Teen Ink

Worth It

June 1, 2015
By Lovasminator BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
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Lovasminator BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
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 "Hey Lolo you ready?" I hear Normani as she stood at my bedroom door as I put on my Leather jacket. "Here's your cup." Mani hands me my cup of warm blood as I walk up to her.

  Yes I said blood, we're drinking human blood, and no we didn't attack anyone to get it that's not how we feed, anymore. As you can guess Mani and I are vampires, no we don't sparkle in the sun or burn, the sun just irritates our skin and eyes. Also, we aren't like five hundred freaking years old, I've only been a vampire for the past twenty years and so is Mani, I turned her five months after I was turned. I don't know by who, but I will find them and I will make them pay for what they did because it's their fault for what happend not mine. I didn't know waht I did to them, to Mani, I didn't know.

  "Lauren?" Normani snaps me back to reality.

  I shake my head a little and look at Normani. "Sorry. What?"

  "Are you okay Lo? You were in your own little world rihght now." Mani shyly smiles at me.

  "Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking. I'm fine, promise." I smile at her as to show her that I'm fine.

  "Okay if you say so. Let's go to Ally's now. Are you all ready?"

  "Yeah let's go." I walk to the kitchen and set my red stained dirty cup next to the sink and so does Mani.

  We get out of the house and that old lady that lives in the apartment across from ours is looking at us from her door  peep hole. I can feel her blood going through her body which is how i know she's spying on us. Mani and I start going up the stairs, since Ally lives on a higher floor in the same apartment building as us. We got to Ally's apartment door and Mani knocks. A couple seconds later Ally's boyfriend Troy opens the door, i always liked him he's such a sweet guy to Ally.

  "Hey girls. Ya'll look beautiful tonight, come in. He opens the door more for us to walk in. Normani and I walk in as Troy closes the door behind us.

  As we are walking in Ally comes out to greet us. "Hey girls come in. I want to introduce you girls to our new neighbors." Ally motions towards the two girls, that I didn't notice when we walked in, sitting at the couch. As soon as i saw the girl with the beautiful brown eyes I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

  "Hey girls, I would like you to meet my amazing friends." Ally introduces us to the two girls as they stood up off the couch. "Camila and Dinah this is Normani and Lauren my bests of friends, and Normani and Lauren these are my new neighbors Dinah and Camila."

  "Hi nice to meet you, I'm Camila." Camila, that's a pretty name. She shook Mani's hand and when she gave me her hand I notice she is shaking. It's cute that she's nervous, I like when I have that effect on people.

  I shook her hand and smiled at her. I can't get over how pretty she is. "Nice to meet you Camila."

  "Are you cold?" I immediately pulled my hand away as she asked that. Why are vampires so cold, that's one of the many things I hate about beeing a vampire.

 "Oh um a little, but um I'm fine." I shyly smile at her and look at Mani as she heard what Camila said.

  "Alright girls the lasagna is done and on the table so let's get to eating ladies." Ally Leads us towards the dinner table. Thank you Ally for saving me from this awkward situation. We walk to the table and I take my seat on one side of the table and across Camila.

"So Dinah and Camila wha't made you girls move here?" Troy asks the girls as he serves himself some lasagna.
"We moved here since we'll be starting school in a week at Julliard." Camila answers as she serves Dinah andherself some lasagna. They seem like they're together and I'm not really likeing that. Wait why am i getting jealous, I literlly met the girl a minute ago and even if they were togeher that's none of my business.
"You guys are starting t Julliard?! That's where we go!" Ally said with a big smile on her face. "This is great, we're neighbors and we're going to the same school."
"Hopefully we can hangout more." I looked at Camila as I said that giving er a smirk. All she did was nod a yes.
"I'm pretty sure Chancho would love to." Dinah smirks at her as she says that. Okay maybe they aren' together if she is teasing her, i may have a chance.
After dinner we went to the living room as Troy and Ally insisted, Mani started talking to Dinah about Beyonce, at least she found someone that is as crazy about that woman as she is, and I st next to Camila. I want to get to know her, know everything abiut her.
"So what is there to know about the famous Camila Cbello?" I gave her a smirk, as I asked.
"I'm not famous haha. Um well Iwas born in Cuba an then my family and I lived in Miami for a while, then we moved her to New York with Dinah's family. I have a yonger sister, she's the sweetest little girl you'll ever meet.I'm eighteen years old and I'm a very awkward person. That's pretty much it." She awkwardly smiles at me as I nod my head. "What about you Lauren, um what's your last name?"
I chckled at her question. "It's Jauregui. Well there isn't much about me. Waht is it that you would like to know about me?" I smile at her and look her in the eyes.
"I don't know. Um, where ypu from?"
"I'm frm Miami, but I moved here last year with Mani." I moved my head towards Normani as I mentined her.
"Do you have any siblings?" That's when my smile disappeared and I looked at the ground as all the terrible memories of what I've done came into my mind. 'Lauren you can't get close to her you'll ruin her life, like you've done Mani's or worse, kill her just like you did to them, the ones you loved.'
"I have to go to the bathroom." Before she could say anything I quickly ran to the bathroom. As I got in I closed the door and locked it, I went up to the sink and splashed water on my ,I amgald I'm wearing water proof mascara. I looked a myself in the mirror, yes vampires can be seen in mirrors and photos. I can't get close to Camila no matter how pretysh is orhow nice she seems, I can't get close to her, I can't.
'If youget close to her you'll just hurt her, you'll ruin her.' The voice in my head told me. "You'll kill her, just like youkilled them. And if she finds out what you are she'll never want anything to do with you, you're a monstr Lauren. You're not good for her, or anyone.'
"Shut up!" My eyes turned black as I got angry at the voicein my head, my veins being more visible on my face, my fangs poking out from m mouth. It's right, I am a monster.
"Lauren. Are you okay?" I hear Camila from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" She can't se me like this.
"Um no. I'll be out in a second." I close my eyes and try to calm down, as I take a breath my veins slowly start disappearing and my eyes are going back to their normal green color as my fangs shrink.
"I wanted to make sure you're okay. I want to talk. Can you open the door, plaease?" I can hear her heart beat at the other side ofthe door, and her warm thick blood running through her veins. I need to stop thinking about that, I need to control myself.
I look at myself in the mirror one last time making sue I look normal. I walk towards the bathroom door and take a reah then unlock it. I take a step back into th bathroom as Camila slowly opens the door and walks into the bathroom, she closs the door behind he and steps closer to me.
"Are you kay? Did I say somrthng to upset you? If I did I'm sorry." She takes my hand in hers, her hands are so soft and wa. "Your hand is so cold."
I pull my hand away from hers, and her expression saddens as I move my hand away from her. "No um, yeah i'm okay I'm fine, it's just that when you asked me about having any siblings it reminded me that they're not with me anymore." I look down at the ground not wanting to make eye contact with her.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset."
"No it's okay, you didn't know." I look up at her and shyly smile at her.
"I'm sorry." She comes close to me and wraps her arms aroud me, pulling me into a warm tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist and getting my body as close as I can to her, I've never felt this was whenI hugged anyone and I've hugged Ally and Mani many times, but they never made me feel safe like I do in her arms.
I moved my head a little towards her neck, hich was a very bad idead I can feel her blood going through her neck vein that is slightly viible, my eyes slowly start turning black and that's when I pull way from her and turn away so she can't see me.
"Are you okay?" I take a breath ad try to control myself, my eyes start to go back to their normal color.
"Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry forpulling away, I didn't want to ruin your sweatshirt as I sart cryig." I turn towards her and give her a shy smile.
"Hey it's okay, I don't mind, it's okay to cry." She grabs my hand and smiles at me. "Everyone cries."
"You're right." I smile at her and look her in the eyes. She has the most beautiful brown eyes Ive ever seen. I feel her thumb caress my left hand as we are looking at each other. "We should go back to the living room." I suggest as I look down to her neck, I can't be in a room alone with her.
"Yeah lets got." Without letting go of my hand she opens the door and we walk out ofthe bathroom together. I like this, I really do, it feels right. Maybe I do deserve this, Maybe i am good enough to get close to her.
We walk into the living room where evryone was at, still holding hands. We st back down at the cuch we were sitting on earlier as Dinah and Normani stare at us with smirks plastered on thir faces.
"So I see you two got a little closer, Chancho." Dinah says to Camila as she points to our joined hands.
"Yeah Lo, you guys are close friends now?" Normani raises her eyebrows as her and Sinah burst into laughter. I hate her.
"Quiet you two. Let them be." Yeah thanks Ally shut thm up. "You girls would make a cute couple." What?! Couple, I turn to look at Camila as Ally said that and awkwardly smile at her. She smiles as her cheeks tura lightshade of pink then looks down at the ground shyly.
Camila and I. a couple? 'It would never happen you're a danger to her and you know that.' I am not, I am good enough, i can make her happy, I can make anyone appy. 'You ruined Mani's life and killed them the ones you loved Lauren, how would ayone be happy with you. Look at her, look how happy she is without you if you get close to her she will never smile again and it'll be all because of you.' Shut up! Ihate this stupid voice in my head, I will find whoever did this to me and I will be with Camila.

"Camren!" We look at Dinah with confused faces.
"What's a Camren?" I ask.
"It's you and Mla together. Camila and Lauren, Camren."
"Okay." I chuckle at Dinah's response. I turn to Camila and smile at her, I can't keep my eyes off her she's so beautiful.
We started talking and getting to know each other more for another hour until Dinah spoke up. "Well I'm beat, Mila do you want to go back to the apartment?"
Camila checks her phone. "I is pretty late and I'm a little tired, so yeah."
"Okay. Ally, thank yo so much for inviting us and for dinner, your cooking is the bomb and nt to mention those brownies girl." Dinah walks up to Ally and hugs her.
"Thank you. And you girls are welcome to come by anytime, I will always have baked goods."
"I'm sure Dinah will take you up on that offer." Camila says as she also pulls Ally in for a hug. "Thank you Ally or inviting us.It was nice to meet you Troy, and Normani." Camila shakes Troy's hand and hugs Normani.
i stand up off the couch as Camila walks up to me. "Can I walk you to your apartment?" I ask her.
"Yeah. Um, I would love that." She smiles at m then looks down at the ground as Dinah has a smirkon her face.
"Thanks Ally for the food and invitation. I'll see you at the apartment Mani alright." I say as we walk towards the front door.
"Goodnight gus." Ally says as we walk out the door.
Dinah, Camila and I walk to their apartment that's three doors down from Ally's. Dinah unlocks the door and opens it. "I'll leave you girls alone." Dianh smirks at Camila as she walks in the apartment. "t was nice meeting you Lauren."
"You too Dinah." I amile at her then she closes the door leaving Camila and i alone in the hallway.
I look at Camila as she's smiling at me. "It was really nice meeting you Camila." I say as i grab her hand in mine.
She looks down at our hands and smiles. "Yeah, it was nice meeting you too. And again I'm sorry for making you upset."
"Like I said, it's okay you didn't know." I smile at her and lightly give herhand a squeeze reassuring her it wa okay.
"Okay. ell if you ever want to talk aout it or need someone, you know where I live."
"Thanks. Um also, I wanted to ask you if you would like to go out sometime?"
"I would love to."
"Really?"
"Of course, I ould like to get to know you more Lauren. I don't know why but there's somethng about you that makes me want to get to know everything about you." Camila grabs my other han and looks me in the eyes. I smile at her, I felt a warm feelig in my chest, I'e never felt taht before.
I don't want to let goof her hand or even go back to my apartment, I don't ant to be away from her. I know it's dumb since I met he girl hours ago, but I can't help but feel like this. 'You'll hurt her'. No I won't, stay out of this. 'You can't get close to her, she deserves better.' She deserves happiness and that's what I'll give her if she let's me. I am good enough, i can control myself and I lie her nd she likes me.
"I should let you go so you can get some rest." I sayas we stare into each other's eyes.
"Okay, as long as I can get upor number." She smirks at me and tilts her head lightly to the left, like a puppy does when he's confused, making her neck vein visible for me.
I close my eyes for a second and tak a breath, so I can get control again. "Fair enough."I sy smiling as I let go of one of her hands to pull out my phone from my back pocke. I unlocked it and handed it to Camila. She put her number in my phone and handed it back to me, I took it and put it in my back poket.
"Text me when you want to have that date." She leand into me and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight Lauren." She walks into her apartment and closes the door, leaving me alone in the hllway smiling like an idiot with my hand on the spot on my cheek were she kissed me. i can stll feel her soft warm lips on my cheek.
"Goodnight Camila."

I walk in to my apartment and close the door behind me. I see Normani in the kitchen serving herself a glass of blood, so I walk in the kitchen and grab a glass. "What happened between you and Camila that's got you all smiley?" She raises her eyebrow up and down as she asks.
"Nothing, I just asked her out and she said yes." I said as I took a sip from my glass making it hard for Mani to hear what I said.
"What?"
"That I asked her out and she said yes."
"What?! Dang Lo you got game. You look so happy, that girl already got you whipped and you just met." Mani laughs as she lightly shoves me.
"Oh shut up you. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I'm scared Mani, that I won't be able to control my blood lust around her. When we were in the bathroom I could smell and feel her blood when she hugged me." I look down at the ground in shame. What if I attack her when we go on our date?
"Lauren listen." I look up at Normani in front of me. "You'll control your hunger. We both worked on this together. How long have we been like this? Twenty years Lauren, we've been nineteen years old for the past twenty years." She puts her glass in the sink and walks up to me. "I know you Lo, you would never hurt anyone."
"I'm scared. That I can't control myself around her Mani. What if I do to her what I did to them, that can't happen." Tears start rolling down my face as I picture myself on top of Camila, my fangs deep in her neck vein, her warm sweet blood going down my throat as her lifeless body is being held up by my strong pale hands.
"Lauren, that won't happen." Normani walks up to me, pulling me into a tight hug. I rest my head on her shoulder as she rubs my back. "What happened to your family isn't your fault, you just got turned and you didn't know what you were. But now you know, you're stronger than you were twenty years ago Lauren, you've had many years of practice. You will not hurt her, and you deserve to be happy as much as anyone, this shouldn't stop you from it."
"You're right Mani, I do deserve to be happy. I like Camila and I want to get to know her more."
"That's my girl, now go get some sleep you have work tomorrow girl." I pull away from Normani's hug as she pats my shoulder.
"Okay. Goodnight Mani." I hug her one last time.
Night Lo."
We both walk to our separate rooms. I close the door to my room and change into some sweats and a sports bra. I set my phone on my bedside counter then lay under the covers in my dark room. I stare up at the ceiling thinking, thinking about how much easier it would be if I was still human. How my family would be here with me, how I could be with Camila and not worry that I will drain her of her blood in a second. But then I remember that if I was human then I wouldn't be nineteen years old anymore, I would be thirty nine, Camila wouldn't date thirty nine year old me. After staring at the ceiling thinking how different everything would be I finally decided to get some sleep.
I woke up to my alarm going off. I pulled the covers off of me and walked to the bathroom. As I finished washing my face and brushing my teeth I walked back into my room to change into my work clothes. I put on my black sweatshirt as I walk out of my room into the kitchen. I serve myself a glass of blood. Rinsing out my now red stained dirty glass and head out the door.
As I step out of my apartment I can sense someone watching, so as I lock my door I concentrate on a heartbeat, a heartbeat that is right behind me at the door of my neighbor. What is wrong with her, she is always watching Mani and me. Does she not sleep? After locking my door I walked downstairs to go to my car.
I drive to my work, which is a small music store where we sell music records and all sorts of instruments, mainly guitars. As I walk into the music shop I am greeted by my boss Joshua.
"Good morning Laurenza!"
"Morning Josh. You know how I feel when you call me that." I walk around the counter to set up the cash register for the day.
"Come on Laurenza it's my nickname for you, plus it's Friday, don't be a mood killer." I glare at him as he gives me an innocent smile.
"Whatever." I shake my head and I take my sweatshirt off and pull down the blinds on the small window beside the counter.
"Love you too Laurenza." Josh winks at me then walks away to his office so he can do the paper work he needs to do for the store.
After my shift at the shop I went back to my apartment. I walked to the refrigerator and took out a blood bag. I put the bag in the microwave to heat it up, blood taste better warm. 'But not as good as fresh blood, straight from the vein.' Yeah fresh blood taste sweeter and more, wait what? No Lauren stop, you don't feed like that anymore. I shook my head then grabbed a glass. The microwave beeped signaling that the bag was done heating. I take out the warm blood bag and pour it in my glass.
Normani walks in the apartment as I'm going to the living room. "Hey girly how was work?"
I sit on the couch and turn on the TV. "Slow." I answer. "What about yours?" I click through channels looking for something to watch.
"It was alright." Mani comes and sits with me on the couch with her glass of blood in hand. "So did you text your girl about your guys date?"
"She's not my girl. yet." I look at Mani and smirk at her. "And no I have not texted her."
"And why not? Girl you're slacking." Mani slightly shoves me.
"Because I don't know what to say."
"Girl take your phone out and just tell her that you want to take her out. to dinner tomorrow."
"You say that like it's easy."
"It is, now do it."
"Fine." I take out my phone and I text Camila.
'Hey.' 6:45pm
"There, I texted her." I tell Mani. We watch TV for a little while then my phone buzzes, I check to see what it was and see I got a text from Camila.
'Camila: Hey :) 7:01pm
'How are you?' 7:03pm
Mani smiles at me as she sees me text. "What?" I glare at her.
"You get all smiley when you text her."
"Shut up." I lightly shove her. My phone buzzes in my hand again.
'Camila: I'm good. How about you?' 7:05pm
'I'm doing well.' 7:07pm
'Camila: That's great. So what are you up you?' 7:10pm
'Just watching some lame TV show with Mani.' 7:11pm
"Did you ask her?"
"No Mani not yet."
"Then what are you waiting for? Ask her you dumb dumb."
I squint my eyes at her. "I'm not a dumb dumb."
"Shut up and ask her you dork."
'Camila: Cool.' 7:14pm
"Hey I was wondering, if you would like to have that date tomorrow night?' 7:17pm
"There, I asked her." I say to Mani.
"What she say?"
"She hasn't texted back." My phone buzzed once again signaling I got a text from Camila. "Okay she texted back."
'Camila: Yes, I would love to have our date tomorrow night ;)' 7:19pm
'Great. Then it's set, dinner tomorrow night at eight. :)' 7:20pm
I smiled down at my phone then looked at Normani. "She said yes."
"See now was that so hard?" Mani pulls me into a hug.
"Shut up."
Camila and I spent the rest of the night texting each other back and forth about random stuff. I got to learn her favorite band and her favorite artist, one direction and Ed Sheran. She's so sweet, and funny. I really like her even if I just met her a day ago. I love talking to her about anything. By the time we decided we should go to bed it was eleven thirty. I've never met someone that I loke that I can talk with for that long about random stuff. I go into my room to change into my sweats and sports bra to go to bed, I go to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. I go to my bed and get under the covers, I face my window in my room and close my eyes so I can fall to sleep. I hope our date tomorrow night goes well.

The next day I woke up and went to work late. The day passed very quickly, so I rushed home since I wasn't able to take my glass of blood. As I got home I went to the refrigerator and took out a blood bag, without heating it. I sunk my fangs into the bag, cool thick sweet blood running down my throat. I closed my eyes as my dark veins became visible around my eyes.
"I knew it." I hear Ally say and I opened my eyes, still black, my fangs sticking out of my mouth as I look at Ally in panic.
"Ally?! What? What are you doing here?!" I quickly crumple the bag and throw it in the trash as my eyes start to change back to their normal shade of green and my veins slowly disappearing.
"I didn't want to believe it. But seeing you like this, proved my suspicions right." Ally shook her head and started walking towards the door.
"Ally wait." I got to the door before she did standing in front of her. She backed away from me quickly like she was scared of me. I could hear her heartbeat speed as she looked at me with wide eyes at how fast I appeared at the door. "I can explain."
"Explain what Lauren, that you're a monster?" She said angrily at me, I've never seen her like this, she's always smiling and laughing.
"I'm not a monster!" Yelled angrily at her. She doesn't know anything, I am not a monster.
"Yeah because normal human beings gush down a blood bag while their eyes turn black and have freaking fangs Lauren!" Ally stepped up to me yelling at my face, she wasn't scared of me anymore.

“You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know what I’ve been through. This isn’t my fault. I didn’t choose to be like this. I am not a monster!”

“What about Mani, did you turn her too? So that means you’re going to turn me too? What about Camila that’s why you want t get close to her so you can suck her dry of her blood and turn her into what you are?!” she looks at angrily as she has tears forming in her eyes.

“Leave her out of this.”

“Why? Am I making you feel guilty because that’s what you want to do to her?!”

“Shut up!”

“No! You’re a monster Laure…” I launched myself at ally in anger my eyes turning black. I sunk my fangs in her neck drinking her blood, nothing but whimpers coming from her mouth, I couldn’t stop myself. Drink Lauren, this is why you were turned. You are a monster, a beautiful monster. A monster that should be feared, feared by everyone.

As I feel Ally’s warm sweet blood going down my throat. The images of my dead family come to mind. My parent’s lifeless bloody bodies lying on the cold hard ground in our kitchen. My younger brother Chris’ red blood stained t-shirt ripped on his lifeless body on the couch. As I held my sisters bloody body up to me and my fangs attached to her exposed neck I can hear her faintly say “Laur...en…please…s-stop.” But I didn’t, I killed my family, the ones I loved. I sucked their blood out of their body like the monster that I am, and I liked it.

“Lauren…s-stop…Please.” Ally faintly says. As I heard that I stopped and let go of her weak small body.

I look at Ally weak bloody body lying on the floor and my now red blood stained white shirt. I look at my hands, stained with Ally’s sweet blood. “What have I done?” I back away from ally and hit my back up against the front door. I can’t be here anymore, I can’t be around her anymore, I’m not safe. I’m a monster.

I go out the door to be face to face with my front door neighbor. “I knew, you monster. You cold hearted monster. You’re a killer and you must die!” She pulled out a wooden stake and comes running at me trying to stab me in the heart. I grabbed her arms so she couldn’t do it. “Die you beast!” my eyes turn black and I grab her head and snap her neck in one quick move. Her lifeless body drops to the ground and I run, run far away from their leaving everything behind. Run Lauren, be who you truly are. You know you can’t be like them you’re better, stronger. You’re nothing like them. I’m a vampire, I’m not human and I will never be a human. I’m not weak.



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