Hi, my name is Anthony. I’m here today because I lost my son in a car accident. And like any good parent, you take the blame. But this one was all my fault because I was the one driving. I don’t even remember how it happened. It was so fast. I just went to grab one thing. Why did it have to happen this time? I did this all the time. But really?! The one time I do it, my son has to be in the car. I should’ve waited. Why? Why? WHY!!!!

*beep beep beep* I slept like sh*t. As per usual. Another day, another migraine. Quoted from Squidward Tentacles himself. It’s the same stuff everyday. I wake up and I have visions every day of...him. He consumes my thoughts. I’m so sorry Tyler....

Before the accident, I was working on getting my master’s degree in nursing but once it happened, I settled for being an RN. After the accident, everything changed. I didn’t act the same way anymore. I didn’t eat some of the things we used to eat together. I stopped going on Sunday walks because that's what we did. Everything I ever did, I did for him. And now he’s gone. But I’m still here. The world can be so cruel. I just wish I could say goodbye…

   After work I always check my emails and I got one from my support group. Turns out they want to take us on this retreat for “Clarity and Rebirth” and near the bottom of the email, it states that everyone has to go and all expenses were paid for. Great. I don’t recognize the location though. Camp Wisewall. I typed it into Google and Google didn’t even know. I’m kind of sketched out but this is supposed to be my time to relax...hopefully. 

 It’s the day of the trip and I double checked my luggage like 10 times. Every time Tyler and I would go fishing, I would make sure everything was accounted for: the bait, rods, fishing line, a cooler, sandwiches, Tyler. Tyler...god these visions need to stop. I got an email from the leader of the group stating that there will be a van coming to pick all of us up. I started to worry and panic; thinking that maybe it wasn’t right for me to enjoy myself, but right as I turned to go inside, the van pulled up.  

                                   1 HOUR AND 30 MINUTES LATER

The scenery of this venue is gorgeous. The water is clear, the sun is steamy, everything is perfect. A little too perfect. All the staff were dressed in the same attire but the headmaster had this flowy white dress on. Her smile was so infectious, I felt like I was coming down with something all of a sudden. 

“May I have a glass of water please?”, I asked one of the staff members.

“Of course sir, would you like some lemon in it?”

“Uhh why not, thanks”, I say with a confused tone.

Tyler used to drink his water with a lemon. Hm…

After our welcoming, we were all escorted to our individual rooms. The room was fairly small. It had one big king sized bed, two table stands; one on each side, and a bathroom. On the bed there was a small card that read, ‘Welcome to Camp Wisewall, I hope you enjoy your stay. Our mission is to help individuals overcome their own walls of struggle’. On the back of the card there was a list of what everyone here struggles with. There was me, a man suffering from depression after the loss of his son in a car accident. Blake, he got in a football accident and became addicted to painkillers. Charlene, she found out her husband was having an affair and went crazy and killed her husband. She was admitted into a mental hospital. Then there was a couple, Josie and Kyle, and their story was that Kyle won the lottery and became really rich. He met Josie and they got together. But they have some serious relationship issues. The headmaster was also on there. Her story was that she lost her daughter. They were sledding down this really steep hill and they would always jump out before crashing into the snow bank. Just like me, she went to jump out this one time and her daughter's foot got stuck on the rope of the sled and she went over the bank and into traffic. Elsa, the headmaster, and I both have that in common. We both took the risk of repetition and paid the price.

After the short break, we were all gathered in the dining hall for dinner. Dinner was the choice of steak or chicken, mashed potatoes, and collard greens. To drink, we choose either water, wine, or juice. Well all of us were there except for Blake. 

“Who the hell went through my bag?!”, he shouted. 

We all turned our attention to the raging addict. He was breathing heavily and he was sweating profusely. 

“Did you not hear me? Who went through my bag?”

Elsa arrives and greets us again with that smile. Blake’s eyes went directly to her.

“You! Did you go through my bag? Give me my meds back now!”

“Blake sweetie, this place is for relaxation. We are all here to get better. So with you, we want to help you get sober. Help you build the mindset of ‘I don’t need the pills anymore’”. 

“The pills are my property, now give them back!”

Before things could escalate anymore, Blake was knocked by one of the staff with a dart. 

“I’m sorry everyone. Please enjoy dinner. Excuse me”, Elsa whispers as she exits the dining hall with the staff carrying Blake. 

 Next morning there was another card put in our room. This one read, “We welcome you to Poetry Night. Please prepare a personal poem, it doesn’t matter how long or short it is, and be ready to present.” A poem? I’m not the best with poems but I’ll give it a try. 

“Welcome to our Poetry Night. Any volunteers to go first?” Elsa asks.

“I..I’ll go”, Anthony whispers.

“Wonderful. Now head on up and give us your poem.”

Anthony takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and looks out onto the crowd and recites his poem…

“The weak breeze whispers nothing

The water screams sublime

His feet shift, teeter-totter

Deep breath, stand back, it’s time

Toes untouch the overpass

Soon he’s water bound

Eyes locked shut but peek to see

The view from halfway down

A little wind, a summer sun

A river rich and regal

A flood of fond endorphins

Brings a calm that knows no equal

You’re flying now

You see things much more clear than from the ground

It’s all okay, it would be

Were you not now halfway down

Thrash to break from gravity

What now could slow the drop

All I’d give for toes to touch

The safety back at top

But this is it, the deed is done

Silence drowns the sound

Before I leaped I should’ve seen

The view from halfway down

I really should’ve thought about

The view from halfway down

I wish I could’ve known about

The view from halfway down.” (The View From Halfway Down | Power Poetry )

After the poem was recited, Anthony crashed to the ground in tears. He couldn’t pull himself together.

“I’m so sorry Tyler. I blame myself, I’m so stupid.”

Elsa runs up to him and cuddles him into a ball.

“Shhhh, it’s okay. Do you want to see him?”

Anthony stops abruptly, ‘what did she just ask?’

“What did you say? I can see him? Like physically see him?”

“Yes, and touch as well. I can make that happen if you’d like.”

Without thinking, he blurted out his answer.

“Yes!”

Elsa takes the wallowing man back to her office and asks if he can shut the door behind him. She dims the lights and pulls out some water and the pill. She also pulls up a second chair next to Anthony.

“It’s for Tyler. Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready for this ever since it happened.”

She places the pill in his palm and tells him that the effect should wear off in 4-6 hours. So once she realizes he’s done, she will escort him to his bedroom. 

“I’m gonna count down from 3 then take the pill. 3...2...1.”

Anthony pops the pill in his mouth and guzzles down some water. The waiting game began.

                          25 MINUTES LATER

Tyler: Hey dad

Chills started to form on Anthony’s back.

Anthony: (glances to the right) Tyler?

Yeah dad, it’s me. Really me. 

Anthony starts hyperventilating.

 How are you here? Why can I feel you? Son? 

Dad, it’s me. Your son, Tyler. The boy who likes lemons in his water

Oh my god, it really is you. How are you? Are you in heaven? Are you still in pain? Do you blame me? (starts to weep again)

Dad dad relax, I never blamed you. It was an accident. I’m okay. But you need to stop blaming yourself. I forgive you for whatever you think you did wrong. I love you dad.

I...I love you too Tyler. It was so nice to see you. Even if I’m using drugs to do it. I miss you so much. Goodbye

Bye dad. And a little tip, you should go for your master’s. I believe in you. Don’t stop doing things for you just because of me. 

I’ll do it. For you.

No, do it for you dad.

As Elsa places Anthony in bed, she notices a little tear running down his cheek. She smirks knowing that it worked.

It’s the last day of the resort and for once, I’m actually feeling pretty good. After last night, seeing Tyler, I felt like I no longer have to blame myself anymore. He’s okay. I’m okay. I’m okay. As we were heading to the van that dropped us off, Elsa was there to say goodbye to her guests. 

  “Goodbye Blake, I hope this resort helped with your addiction and that God stays with you”

“Goodbye Charlene, I hope you find peace within yourself now. It wasn’t your fault, remember that.”

“Goodbye Josie and Kyle, I hope both of you found peace and understanding within each other. Kyle, listen to Josie more. She’s a very smart young lady.”

“And now for you Anthony. Did you enjoy your stay at Camp Wisewall?”

“To be honest with you, I was skeptical at first but now that it’s over. I feel complete. Thank you for giving me a chance to see my son. I am forever grateful.”

“No, thank you Anthony. You gave me hope that the drugs work. Now I can see my sweet daughter. Goodbye now.”

“Goodbye Elsa.”

As I was heading to the van, I felt something in my hand. It was a squeeze. It was Tyler. It was nice seeing you son. I’m going to do what you said. I don’t blame myself anymore. Thank you.

                                                                 The End