A ScreenplayEXT.Playground.Day.Sunny.  

AARON a romantic kindergartener who is currently single is talking to his soon to be girlfriend Erin. Aaron is wearing a collared polo shirt and long pants. Erin is also in kindergarten but isn’t interested in him, because she is extremely edgy and goth for her age. All of her clothes and makeup are all black, and her hair is purple. They’re sitting on a swing making small talk. Erin isn’t very engaged in the conversation, while Aaron is trying to impress her through various tactics.

AARON

(Trying to impress ERIN)

You know what Erin?

ERIN

(Not engaged, looking around)

What, Aaron?

AARON

(Unaware of her toan)

I run with scissors, not just the safety scissors, but the real ones too. The coolest part… I don’t hold them the right way. Pretty cool huh?

ERIN   

(Looks up and scoffs)

You think your cool because you can run with scissors? Plus what’s the WRONG way to run with them. Ugh, Do you really think you’re cool?

AARON

(Smirking)

Well of course, that’s why I told you. All the girls like cool boys like me and running with scissors is the coolest. Are you impressed?

ERIN

(With disgust)

Aaron, you’re not impressing me with your little scissor trick. I can’t believe that you think that’s cool. You actually disgust me you filthy...

AARON

(Smirking)

Yeah yeah..

(Getting an idea)

But, It would be cool if you could swing up and jump off this swing… you know maybe do a flip or something. That would be so cool.

AARON

(Trying to act cool)

Well, I accept your challenge.I’m going to do the coolest swing and jump of all time! Yeah… I can do that, and you’ll be so impressed.

(Aaron swings back as far as he can, knowing full well that he can’t do a flip, and then launches himself face first into the mulch.)

AARON

(With several splinters and mulch embedded in his face.)

I’m fine no need to rush over and help me. Heh.. I also made you this love letter, chicks are always into those right? Yeah they are.

(handing her a piece of paper.)

ERIN

(Sighing, Erin hasn’t gotten the result she wanted from the jump.)

Ugh you only have 12 pieces of mulch embedded in your face, you are going to need to do more than that to impress me. God it’s like you’re not even trying, if you’re not going to mangle your face for me, then what will you do?

(Opens up letter from Aaron)

Really Aaron? This letter is pathetic.

(Crumbles up the letter into a ball and throws it at Aaron)

AARON

(In shock from being hit by his hard work and love, which is now just a paper ball hits him)

OWW! That really hurt. What was that for? It was super mean!

(Heart truly broken, Aaron is more hurt than any physical pain)

ERIN

(With a lack of caring tone)

Why should I care? You’re an idiot.

AARON

(Getting desperate, and pointing at a guy in the audience)

Well I look better than him, and you never through paper at him, or c-called him an i-i-idiot.

ERIN

Well, it’s not exactly hard to look better than him. God you’re desperate.

Enter PABLO, Aaron’s best friend. He’s holding a bucket of popcorn. _ Erin is amd to see that Pablo has been watching them for a while now, and is trying to help out Aaron. Pablo is really clumsy however.

PABLO

(Finishing a mouthful of popcorn)

So, didja’ woo the other Erin yet? You guys have been talking for like three days now.

AARON

(With restored confidence)

Pablo, I’ve almost got her, and it’s only been five minutes. See, the ladies just can’t resist me, I’ll have her in just a few seco-

ERIN

(Cutting Aaron off)

Actually, you made a fool out of yourself, jumped off a swing, severely injured your face, and got a love letter crumpled up and thrown back your face- _

(Turning to pablo)

I can’t believe you’re friends with this loser, Pablo.

PABLO

Hey, that’s what happened last time, and it worked. Man, you really are on a roll- I wasn’t supposed to say that. You know what I’m just gonna kinda-

ERIN

(Surprised and angry)

What?! There have been other girls! What is your problem?! Am I not enough for you? You have to find other girls! I can’t believe you! I mean my standards were low but holy heck what is wrong with you. Your and idiot, a dummy, and most of all, an a-hole!

Pablo, realizes that he is in some deep trouble, and like the coward he is, backs off the stage. Erin steps forward as Aaron steps back. She is successfully intimidating him.

PABLO

(Backing off stage with his popcorn)

I’d better just head on outta here ya know. I… uh, have my sisters thingy or whatever. Bye.

AARON

Uhhh. I don’t know what he was

Talking about. Erin this rough patch in our relationship will pass over soon.

Erin

(Trying to rebuttal against Aaron)

Rough patch??? We never had a relationship Aaron. What are you talking about? I don’t like you! I never have, ugh your just an annoyance.

Aaron

(Lost for words)

What? Of course you like me, all the girls like me.

Erin

(Glaring at him.)

Ugh, I didn’t even know you until today, and i’m glad that I didn’t. You’re a pathetic low life loser.

(Aaron starts to cry)

But…  I jumped off a swing for you and I even made a love letter for you.

Erin

(Ignoring his reply)

Whatever How did we ever get in this situation in the first place. I just came here to hang out on the swing until you showed up.

Aaron

(confused)

I don’t really know I was looking for you and found you on the swing so I decided it would be a good time to talk about our relationship and everything.

(Dreamily)

Speaking of which, it’s going to be amazing when we grow up. We’ll have kids, and do parent stuff, it’ll be the best.

Erin

(infuriated at Aaron)

What relationship?! Stop saying that. We never had a relationship and we never will. I don’t want to have a future with you and that’s it.

Aaron

(Heartbroken)

But, I really thought we had something together. I even made you a love letter but, I guess it wasn’t good enough. What will it take for you to care about us? About our future and our relationship?

Erin

(Even more infuriated)

I don’t know where you got that idea from. We aren’t in a relationship. We never were. We never will be in a relationship.a

Aaron

(Falls of the swing and stumbles off stage and starts crying)

I don’t like you anymore. You're a big meanie!!!